Hey Tim-
Yer drunk bud
the Swampmeister
Pace yourself or you're going to find yourself passed out face down in the swamp....again!Wassa matta wi dat??? The good lord wooda neveh blessed us w' bourbon iffin' he didn't want us ta drink it! Y'all wanna see some drinkin' y'all betta come on up to mah Kin-tuck-ee Derby Party this weekend. Best mint juleps this side a the Mason-Dickson lahnn!
"A Speedo, My Rollerblades & Nothing Else: I make this look good"Wassa matta wi dat???
You were so drunk, you started wetting your speedo.Wassa matta wi dat??? 'S why Ah only gots black ones ;-)
remember, don't wear the same speedo on all 3 shows.Wassa matta wi dat??? 'Member, ah only gots black ones!!! OK, OK, un-bunch dem panties; Ah'll rinse 'em out in da sink in that there green room. Y'all t'ink the make-up gal'll mind if Ah use the hairdryer on 'em??
We already have you booked with appearances on Leno, Letterman and the Today Show this fall for the book tour.Yee-ha!!!Whadda ya say we start in the Big Apple and drink our way out to Calli-forn-ah-yea!!!!
Yer drunk bud
the Swampmeister