Hi Benie,
A couple of things FWIW.
Firstly, you are, for the most part, 'right'. Everything is a matter of personal choice and you are certainly intitled to yours as I am mine. Absolutes are hard to find....
It would appear that we have similar goals except that I'm not intent on replicating a live performance. I've long since acepted the fact that I will never hear that in my home in my life time. So, I go for what I can get, a reasonably faithful replication of what is on the recording, warts and all.
If the recording has out of phase information that enhances the sense of width, highth, and depth that is what I want to hear.
If the recording has no out of phase information (or very little, often referred to as being 'dry') then I don't want to hear any.
Consider that out of phase information that creates a sense of spatiousness can exist not only because of its presence on the recording, it can also be present because of set up, and, not infrequently, by the design of the speakers themselves. When your system/set up creats unrecorded phase information it will not, IMHO, inhance the sound of a recording which has this information imbedded in the pits and grooves. To the contrary.....
I believe that speakers which are reasonably resolving and designed to be accurate, phase wise and otherwise, and are properly set up in a good room where its acoustics have been duly considered, you will come the closest to hearing the information that is in the recording. Some recordings have a very expanded sense of stage and some have a very narrow stage all of which is the result of the recording engineers techniques, desires and/or competence.
I also recognize that this relatively hair shirt approach is not universal. It would be wonderful if all of my recordings sounded 'live' or, in the alternative, that I could make myself believe that they did. They don't, I can't, and that is probably a major personal failing. :-)