An unscientific poll: How often are you happy?

I'm never happy. Even prozac doesn't help. But wait a minute.... SCOTCH !!..... now there's an idea....err... excuse me folks.

Tibina, Serotininereuptakeinhibitors like Prozac are stongly contraindicated, since (amongst impairing other pleasurable things ) they reduce listening acuity. Scotch is excellent for hearing on the other hand, but as is the case with sidenafil or haldoperidol, you've got to get the right dosage to make it work best. The right dosage has to be found by experimenting: You have to drink and listen, listen and drink until one of the two is impaired. If you exibit a strong detrimental reaction to both, you've gone too far and should reduce listening by about two CDs or 5 LPs a day until you can hear that wind (flatus) again, bursting out in a sharp transient about three feet below and behind the second cornet in the third opening bar of Wagner's Overture to the Götterdämmerung on the blue garlicflower Deutsche Grammophon 123456 with Herr Professor Dr.Dr. von Karajan and his Berliners.(Bad luck for those, who do not listen to vinyl. They'll never know the true Nirvana, because this test is vital for the right dosage.) Statistics show however, that complications may occur with those subjects, who need more Scotch to get through the entire opera until its very end.

detlof -

that was one of the better things i've ever read in life.

Doctor, I must take pains to point out that the offending coronetist had undoubtedly been drinking beer (beir), not scotch, before performing his percussive exclamation! Wouldn't it be indicated only to imbibe spirits that are like in kind to those consumed by the musicians themselves, if one wants to stand a chance of most closely approaching the absolute sound? (Thread's dead anyway, may as well bury it...)

does this mean that i should shoot up copious amounts of smack the next time i listen to any of my velvet undergroung/lou reed lps? maybe there *is* a hidden meaning in metal machine music!