Audio reviews: too many analogies, never simple, but most of all, never clear.


How many reviews have you read were it takes at least 2 paragraphs for the the reviewer to actually give 
hint this article is actually audio related or even gives mention to what he or she’s reviewing. Get to the subject matter. Leave out your less than perfect dramatic writing skills and lets start hearing about the actual review. I’d rather hear about comparisons between audio components than analogies between wine and taste related to transparency and how that gives rise to what they are getting ready say. What does wine have to do with audio transparency, nothing! Also they have a tendency to talk more about recordings that I’m sure 99% of the readers of the article have never heard of, or would ever listen to.
And when you looking for some sign of what they actually think of the components they’re reviewing they never give you a straight answer; it’s always something that leaves, at least for myself, asking, well where’s the answer. 
hiendmmoe
My nephew used to write for Audiophile Magazine.  His equipment was practically given to him after reviewing their gear.  I think in many cases we can accept their reviews with a grain of salt.

Let's talk about incomprehensible analogies.  Herb R. is a major offender.  Listening to this pair of headphones was like hiking half way up Kathmandu and slipping into a tepid bath of pulped avocados and sriracha.  I lost myself in the poignant deep clouds of mysticism.

I think I'll just buy the heavily discounted Audioquests...

I agree with @hiendmmoe on this. When I'm researching for a new piece of gear, I have a tendency to see how long is the review. I know that's stupid but that's just how I am. If it looks like its War & Peace part II, I tend to just scan it and get to the good parts or ignore it. I want to read a 'real world' review of the gear. I don't have time for silly analogies.
Reminds me of what (I believe) James Michener once said, "I takes me 100 pages just to say hello."