Frustration with buyers who make offer, then don't

Gerryn: I sense and can well appreciate your immense frustration. Albeit, IMHO, if in the ultimate your desire is to have fun with this "thing" of ours, you would be much better served to say to yourself, "I'm going to adopt a lighter attitude from here on in." Fact is, the likes of your experience is merely (however unfortunately) par for the course/goes with the territory/is nowhere more evident than here on the Web. So long as you haven't been burned for any appreciable bucks, consider the notion of your taking these various individuals who've rubbed you the wrong way to task, batting heads with them, holding them accountable or up for public scrutiny, etc., as altogether more trouble than it's worth. Rather than allowing yourself to get upset, feel sorry for these folks whom for whatever their shortcomings, fail to take the high ground.

Gerryn,

It's funny, but I had to re-read this thread a couple of times to have it sink in. It's about frustration not bad buyers. I suggest you look at what frustrates you, not other people.

You say, "I always try to operate in good faith".
You might have said that you always act in good faith.
I get the feeling that you're working way to hard on how you feel while for me the issue would be, how do I sell my extra piece of audio equipment?

Yogi said it all. It ain't over, till it's over.

Bill E.

I must AMEN what glen said! I suspect you're not in sales? If you've encountered what potential buyers (and even sellers from buyers stand point) can be like over time, you'll know exactly what I mean! You come across all sorts for sure. Trust me, don't sweat the small stuff!!...and this is definitely small stuff! People are fickle, hesitent, unsure (about a lot of things), intimidated, insecure, moody, flakey, and on and on (of course, they're a lot of nice things as well, it's just all mixed in!...people!). When you consider that that person on the other end of the email has all these questions and instabilities about a given large dollar transaction to begin with, it's really to be expected (IMO) that you'll get people changing there minds, and swaying back and forth on purchasing decisions. And yes, even after they said, "I'll take it!!!"...Been there a few times.
Hey, let's face it, on the internet, where people are sight-unseen, if you didn't get taken, and you eventually got what you wanted, you shouldn't even bat an eye at all the rest. Just consider you're self fortunate. There is a rather diverse and large mix floating around out there, just expect all the unexpected's and consider it the norm.
In the end, it's reall simple, a deal isn't a deal until it's a done deal, and the money has changed hands! So expect to see it all if you stick with this selling stuff long enough...it can get weird.

Not to much to add to Driver, Cornfedboy, Rosstaman. It comes with territory. Upside is the net lets you buy at 50% of retail. You have to live with the downside. Its a pain that not everyone is courteous, but a deal that falls apart with a jerk is probably better than a deal that you think went thru with a jerk.

The mystery of the disappearing "buyer" or "seller." It's one of the few "pains in the butt" of our hobby. But it's worth putting up with.

Let me start by saying. Slow down you may be getting a little to excited. I read your feedback file and it's not looking so good. In this game you take your lumps as you go and move on. At least you still have the gear and are not out any cash.

People have been burned for thousands of dollars on the Internet buying and selling. You think you’re ticked because someone backed out of a deal. Wait till someone sends you a fake money order for 10K or you send them 5K and never here from them again. Then you can leave negative feedback.

I won't mentioned people buying with stolen credit cards and a half dozen other scams. Just be careful. Take it slow and easy if you get to excited you will eventually come out the loser. RELAX!!! your still winning:~)

in the case of drrdiamond, it is my view that there was, in fact, a "contract" between him and the reputed lawyer who agreed to all material terms for the purchase of the remote. these sort of "transactions," while not "complete" are susceptible of resolution using audiogon's dispute resolution process. you may read about this process and find tips for avoiding disputes in the "help" section on the audiogon homepage. to reach the homepage, click on "audiogon" on the top left of every page displayed on this site. -kelly

Like Mkaes said, feedback should be transaction related only. If somebody left me neg. feedback for other than completing a deal I would not be happy. Also if somebody threatened me like Drrdiamond mentioned, I would be way more than unhappy. I just completed a deal & in the course of listing the item a few times & answering about 20 emails & a few phone calls, I treated every potential buyer the same. The fact that some never called or emailed back does not faze me at all. That's the way it goes in audioland. If there are any potential buyers left after I've made a deal, I always email them to say I've completed the deal, etc. That's how I conduct myself regardless of the other party. You mentioned in your last sentence "maybe it's me"...I would have to agree with that. To lesson your pain I suggest looking at selling high end gear like selling used cars. A lot of potential buyers will promise to follow through-but it just doesn't happen. I'm not a used car salesman but my neighbor across the street is. Maybe not what you wanted to hear but that's the way I see it. Good luck in your future dealings.

Unfortunatly, this is common place. I suspect many of them don't even realise that simple courtesy merits a return reply, however brief. Also contributing is the anonimity of the internet itself. As the only criteria for getting on Auidiogon is access to a computer, you are going to interface with a much wider swarth of people which is going to include some selfish and even plainly dysfuctional folks.
I guess it's just the nature of the beast.

I would not leave negative feedback for simply not responding to a return email. If this is the worse thing that's happened to you on audiogon consider yourself lucky. I've had 2 people be the winning bidder on auctions only to inform me that they "just got carried away" and don't want the item. I also got stuck with a $90 shipping bill when I sent an amp COD and the buyer "found out some secret" about the amp and refused to accept it or reimburse me for the shipping cost.

An ad was run in the "wanted" section of this website for a remote for Krell amps.
I responded and asked what he was willing to pay.
He gave me a price; I agreed to HIS price; he said he'd put a money order in the mail.
I packaged up the mint remote, so it would be ready to mail, but I never got anything and for the longest time he wouldn't respond to my e-mails, and when he did he was very rude. I am tempted to list his name, but he is a lawyer and he threatened me.
Richard

according to audigon policy no feedback can be left unless there is a transaction, making offers, stupid questions and haggling are not grounds for negative feedback, people do some amazing crap, learn to live with it as I'm sure we all do business in a way that may be backwards to someone else