Help my speakers are farting,,,,

Without getting too personal, how critical is port diameter and depth when tuning for the most melodic farts? Should one consider the Qms, Qts or Vas of said fart?

Gunbei, that reminded my of a buddy of mine who was always joking to his friends when they first start dating a girl.

He says at first you are on the "First Date Fart Hold"

As time goes on you can get off of the First Dat Fart Hold and upgrade your situation to the "Slow release Program".

Sooner or later the relationship will grow untill you are back to "Cheese the breeze as you please", Then, you know she loves you.

Best laughs ever.LOL.I am in tears .Gunbei the one with the hillbilly had me on the floor!!!
Great guys
Thanks
George

Slappy, In the Philadelphia area there's a Meteorologist named Cecily, who is on Action News. Her First Husband, & Her used to play a Bedtime Game called the "Dutch Oven Game". In a Radio interview she mentioned all the rules. One would go under the covers to see if it was possible to guess what the other ate that day? I guess one night there was something overly foul, as they filled for a divorce! Your "First Date Fart Hold", reminded me of it, & as a single again dating guy, here's a new game to amaze chicks with your hidden talent? ;0)~

1.Sounds like your speakers may just have excellent bass extension and "move alot of air".LOL.
2.Would the amount you can hold a fart back without others hearing it be considered the "damping factor"? Or, would that be the resistance or impedance of the farter? Did not know that you could rate a fart in ohms!
3.Don't strike a match around your speakers when this is occuring, your listening room could potentially explode!
4.You don't fill your loudspeaker enclosures with beans instead of lead-shot do you?
5. You speakers must be MALE and have Big Drivers, since they don't seem to care to Let 'ER Rip!
6. Have you tried running a light up your port to see if you can find a problem?
Sorry guys...I could not resist adding to this hilarious thread! I have laughed so much that its not funny!LOL!
Angela