How do I know if my systems any good?

Suspension of disbelief:

That moment in time when you "disbelieve" that you're listening to an electromechanical simulation of a recorded performance and "believe" that the musicians are in the room with you.

 I call it immersiveness but you described it well...

My very best...

The folks who say things like, If you're listening at 3 am and can't stop, If you want to put on more and more records like your'e hearing them for the first time, etc.---Those comments resonate with me!  

When you hit the point where your music system is calling and calling you, you know you have got it good.

For the vast majority of recordings (95%)-

DOES:

Sound life like, provides realism

Has exciting dynamics, attack and quickness

Can turn it up when you want to and still sound good

Spacious, 3-dimensional sound stage

Clearly separates the musical elements and performers

Sounds clean and smooth

Provides bass punch and feel

Makes you smile and enjoy the music

DOES NOT

Have noticeable peaks or hot spot notes in any frequency range

Frequently sound like you want to turn it down lower than you would prefer

Sound dull or mushy, lifeless

Sound harsh or edgy

Sound thin

Sound distorted

Make you avoid certain recordings because they do not sound good

Make you cringe

My audio system 10 years ago sound like this :

DOES NOT

Have noticeable peaks or hot spot notes in any frequency range

Frequently sound like you want to turn it down lower than you would prefer

Sound dull or mushy, lifeless

Sound harsh or edgy

Sound thin

Sound distorted

Make you avoid certain recordings because they do not sound good

Make you cringe

I will add because it is important and was not in this list : unnatural artificial timbre

Now after my acoustic listenings experiments :

For the vast majority of recordings (95%)-

DOES:

Sound life like, provides realism

Has exciting dynamics, attack and quickness

Can turn it up when you want to and still sound good

Spacious, 3-dimensional sound stage

Clearly separates the musical elements and performers

Sounds clean and smooth

Provides bass punch and feel

Makes you smile and enjoy the music

Then rule number one :

Buy basic good component... It is a hard job to figure it out if you dont want to pay a heavy load of money...

The rule number two is harder:

You must read about acoustic and make simple experiments in the mechanical ( vibration control) and in the electrical dimension ( low noise floor) ¸And especially in acoustical relation between speakers and room...

If you dont obey rule two sorry but you will fall for the upgraditis neurosis or worst for a life of audiophile frustration...

but if money is not a problem you will buy a 50,000 bucks system and call it the best in the world but you will never know...

But me i know WHY  my 600 bucks system is one of the best in the ratio S.Q./price scale...