How do you get to listen to high end speakers?

Spend each dollar like it's a vote...I sure wouldn't vote for that dealer.

As a former high-end dealer, I know that unfortunately, your experience is not unique. I was treated that way in the past, especially in NYC and made a commitment to never treat customers in such a manner. Regardless of a customer's budget or purpose for entering the store, I never denied anyone the opportunity to hear the top shelf components upon request. My experience is that it resulted in considerable repeat business, referrals, and a more enjoyable business to operate. Like others have stated: Vote with your money.

Find a new dealer! Not every, but most dealers I have visited are more than willing to "show-off" their highest of high end equipment. I have gone back to the same dealer numerous times to listen to the exact same setup with hours of my music, as a matter of fact they encourage it. Prior to buying my current speakers I would guess that I had about 40 hours total listening during various trips at the dealer, plus dragged the monsters home for a week, so I could hear them in my listening room, prior to purchase (no deposit required, no guarantee I would buy). Anyone who says you can't listen is a fool, how did they know you weren't buying a cable for your son's system?

Hmmmm...wouldn't be Sound Components by any chance? Interesting that the store's former owner, Peter McGrath, is now in a lead role with Wilson Audio. I'm a former customer of that store when Peter owned it, and I was treated extremely well. Just the opposite of what was described here.

Sadly this is one of the issues confronting the 'mystique' of High End Audio.
Two very disparate perspective taint this discussion.
Dealer:
"Hey some guy in Studio Three wants to hear the Wilson Grand Slams, and he looks like he couldn't afford a Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast."
"Yea, well blow him off, tell him they're not hooked up."
Customer, leaving the store, "That ass*ole, doesn't know that Kenney Chesney sent me in here to audition these to see if they're as good as everyone says. What a schmuck. OR
"You know honey, every since we inherited your Dad's money people seem less inclined to wait on us. Let's look on the internet."

All to sadly, dealers prejudge buyers, or assume that two hours with the customer is wasted, since the prospective buyer will go the 'net, and buy a used, or from elsewhere, just to save taxes.
My training that I did for THIEL at stores around the US, mentions this very issue. The training, called, "Eleven Hard Earned Lessons" highlights this very situation in great detail.
The most frustrating part of all this is, the customer WANTS to buy, and the dealer WANTS to sell, and friends, THAT is fertile ground for happy customers, AND profits.
Sorry, I am not pontificating, but bear with me while I tell a story that happened to ME as Vice President of Sales for THIEL Audio, in one of OUR Dealerships.
I was doing sales training for free, as part of my effort to establish dealer partnerships, instead of just a supplier, buyer relationship, (more on that another time).
Anyway, they had two salesmen, who were experienced in sales but not audio. But the mistake you're about to hear about, has nothing to do with audio experience, just common sense.
In roll playing, I set up the scenario that I wanted to talk to a salesman, he approaches...
Hello,
Hi there.
How may I help you?
Well, I just saw a friends magazine, uh Stereophile?
Yes that's it.
Yeah, anyway there was this speaker on the front, of it that looked really good cosmetically, something my wife might go for because the wood was really nice, and it was a THILL, or uhh
(No help from him to say THIEL)
Anyway, I saw it laying on your counter when I came in. I had looked in the Yellow pages and saw that you sell them.
And I'd like to hear them, and maybe, if they sound as good as the reviewer guy said...
The salesman, given this 'Slam Dunk' scenario shot back with: Hmmm...What kind of turntable do you have? Then he proceeded, for ten minutes to try to sell me a turntable, even though I asked several times about the speakers again.

I told the dealer about it, dismayed at the salesman's lack of attention to my buying signals, and just plain old questions. And, instead of him being concerned, he defended the salesman, and said, "Well, he's new."
I countered with, "Yes, but he does speak and understand English doesn't he?"
Mediocrity in sales people abounds, and customers often take advantage of dealers, demoing, when having no intention of buying 'locally'.
HOWEVER, that is no excuse to not DEMO.
Dealers MUST DEMO or DIE!!!

To the person wanting a demo. Call the manufacturer; ask for the local representative of their product; have them call the store owner "at your request" and introduce you.
Make the appointment to go in and listen at a predetermined time. This will allay any confusion or poor treatment.
Most all manufacturers are dying to have people respond to their reviews, or their advertising. They have no control over the way that some people treat customers at the retail floor level.
Good luck.
Best