The best audiophile "gag" gift for X-Mas


My dear friend and fellow audiophile bought for me the remarkable, " Intelligent Chip CD Upgrade Device", from Machina Dynamica for my X-Mas present. Well, we all gathered around the sweet spot in front of the old high-end system, put in the demo CD in the transport, put the, " Intelligent Chip" on top of the transport for the recommended 2 to 3 seconds, and absolutely NOTHING happened regarding the sonics in any way! But, boy did we all crack up and had the best laugh on X-Mas day. Now, we had 9 more upgrades left in the, "Intelligent Chip", so if first you don't succeed try, try again. We did and again NOTHING happened except more howls of laughter and good cheer. Well, we decided that the, "Intelligent Chip", was adding as much improvement to the sonics of the system as (Un)Intelligent Design Theory is adding to the scientific explanation of the development/diversity of life on our planet. Both, are just a bunch of .... you fill in the blank, but for the $16.00 the dumb chip cost it was the best gag gift I have ever recieved on X-Mas.
teajay
aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!! can't we stop talking about Geoff and his bu!!$$hit products. I guess not. Well here you go then:
You gotta believe in something

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing."

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
The above could just as easily be re-phrased - for example ...

"I refuse to prove that my cables will make your system sound better", says the snake oil vendor, "for proof denies faith, and without faith, you will hear nothing."

The tenets of faith are an absolute requirement for many of the claims that are made for many (probably most) of the "esoteric" hi-fi additions that you will find everywhere on the web. There is no real information, technical, scientific or otherwise, and the only terms you will hear will be of a subjective nature - for example "solid, sparkling, sweet, musical" will be contrasted with "muffled, veiled, grainy, harsh" - the very selection of the words is designed to sway you to their position, preferably subconsciously.

The marketing is often very subtle, extremely persuasive, and there is no confusing techno-talk in there to confuse the non technical reader. While it may seem like Nirvana, the claims are nearly all completely false.

Faith (in the religious sense) is based on the premise that faith is God's proof that God's existence is truth and does not rely on facts. Indeed, if facts were available, then faith is not required - so in a sense, faith can be seen to be based on an absence of evidence - a fiction.

Believers may also qualify faith as either representing truth or they will represent it as being above and beyond our understanding. Truth becomes a consequence of faith which is the believer's recognition of the absence of evidence. Truth is therefore defined according to a circular perception.

I am not about to dispute the religious beliefs of anyone - these are sacrosanct, and belong to the individual alone. When the same arguments are used for audio, this is a different matter. Audio (unlike religious beliefs) is based on science. Without the efforts of scientific work and studies over many years by a great many people, we would not have audio as we know it. Now, we have charlatans and thieves claiming that science is ruining audio, and that we have to get back to the basics to enable real enjoyment.

You need, nay! must have! the latest shiny rock on top of your CD player, lest the sound be harsh, grainy, and lacking bass authority, and without the latest cables at only US$200 per foot, you are missing out on half of the music. But ... you must believe, for the magic will surely be dissipated instantly should you attempt even the most rudimentary scientific test, or even request any technical information.
Now here is a fun gag gift:
Control-Freak

Just keep this thing away from Marco. Who even knows what he could do with it! Im thinking natural disaster of epic proportion.
Teajay, your comments are absurd regarding faith and creationism. The scientific EVIDENCE, philosophical, mathematical, and lastly Theological evidence all point to the fact of creationism. Faith is not based on a lack of evidence, it is based on a preponderence of evidence.

Leading scientists, philosophers, and mathematicians virtually universally admit that the imperical evidence does not support their belief, hence the continued absurdity of ideas like 'punctuated equilibrium' and many other untenible ideas. The problem is college and highschool teachers teach as dogma, what cutting edge investigators have already debunked.

Evolution requires historical (that being the provision of large amounts of evidence) proof to support it because scientific proofs (that being observable, repeatable proofs) do not exist.

Science and faith are not mutually exclusive. It requires more faith to believe that material was made by eternal energy, or by nothing than by a God who exists outside the material universe!!!
Nrchy,
Five years ago I would not have even responded to your ignorant and misinformed statements regarding the scientifically based fact of Natural Selection as a valid explanation of the development and wonderful diversity of life on this planet. Now, I do respond in the public domain because individuals like yourself, regardless if you think your motivation is benevolent and tolerant, are eroding the separation of church and state in our culture.

Also, individuals like yourself are either ignorant of the overwhelming evidence accepted by the scientific community supporting Natural Selection or purposely misrepresent, for your own religious reasons, what the data shows to further your agenda of a god-centered universe. Of course, in any scientific endeavor there are healthy disagreements about some of the minute details in the overall valid theory or perspective. However, people of your elk choose to use these healthy disagreements as somehow disproving the overall fact of Natural Selection, along with taking the tesimony of a few crack-pot scientists with the right credentials who have NO status in the scientific community and are pushing their own religious agenda in a pseudo-scientific and disingenious way.

I completely and unconditionally accept that you have the right to any religious or pseudo-scientific philosophy that you want. However, to erode away in our public education system both the separation of church and state and ruining the quality of our scientific education in general is a great concern for all people who want to live in an open and progressive democratic society.

A final note is that the total hypocrasy and underhandedness of the people pushing Intelligent Design theory regarding that it has nothing to do with a religious diety was pointed out by the judge who ruled against it being taught in schools in Pennsylvania.

So...Nrchy, why don't ya move to Kansas where other enlightened thinkers like yourself who are pushing Intelligent Design theory in public classrooms will guarantee another generation of ignorant or ill-informed students who will not be able to think skeptically and compete with the other children of European countries, who by the way laugh at the Ameicans' difficulty with the acceptance of Evolution as a scientific fact, that guarantees that America will not be able to compete educationally and technologically in the future!

Not that I think you would choose to read it, but I highly recommend a book by Sam Harris titled The End Of Faith because in many ways it describes the kind of mind-set that you have that has eroded away some of the most important aspects internally of an open and free American society.
....see what you started Albert?! You're nothing but a trouble-maker!

Marco