Availability protocol?

When first joining Audiogon, I learned quickly never to ask a member if their listed piece was, in fact, "still available". This was viewed as 'tire kicking' or disrespectful of their time and patience. I came to empathize after I had sold a few pieces myself and waded through the myriad requests that typically went nowhere.

In the last month or two, however, on three separate occasions I have written to a member saying I wanted to buy a piece, only to be told it was sold already. These were pieces that were listed as available and I was offering full ask price. I also have perfect feedback, so I am assuming the pieces were, in fact, sold. I understand it may take a little time to update their listings as we are all busy and can't keep 100% current on everything, yet even weeks later, they were still listed as available.

Point being, I am making several changes to my system, and was considering several pieces on Agon which I checked daily to ensure availability. After spending valuable time doing research, I finally made up my mind, only to be told they were sold, despite their listed status. Yet asking about availability gets one tarred and feathered, so what's the solution in order to avoid the aforementioned frustration and wasted time?