Dark and laid back vs bright and forward

The audio language is imprecise. Sometimes I don't think anybody (audio reviewers in particular) knows what they are really talking about.

I disagree with everyone and have more precise sound definitions:

Dark usually auditioned in dark room.
Darkness helps to purify the power lines with no influence of bulbs and other electric supplies. The fridge can also be turned of for real Dark listening. Dark in video if TV is off.

Forward basically signifies of absence of music when you fast-forward a tape or CD searching your favourite place on the particular track. The same is with video.

Bright is usually when you're playing through the whole house lightened and with dishwasher, washer, dryer, fridge is on along with your stereo. In case with video or HT you bring up the brightness and contrast on your TV to the maximum.

Laid Back is when you want to get laid but still you listen to so nice piece of music that you sit back and enjoy instead of gettin' laid. In case with video or HT you simply sit back and watch someone gettin' laid.

Marakanetz, what a hoot!! I think that you know more than all the audo reviewers combined!

I believe light and dark refer to overall tonal balance while forward and laid-back refer to refer to overall soundstage perspective (e. g. front row vs. middle of hall). I view brightness as a more severe form of a light tonal balance.

Many of these terms are difficult to understand without having some 'authority' providing precise definitions. Robert Harley attempted to present a little clarity in his book; "The Complete Guide to Highend Audio." I know a lot of people don't really care about what a paid reviewer thinks or says, and some people will reject his definitions out of hand due to the source, but it seems like it would be helpful to have just one definition for each word. Now if we could just settle on a source!