Stradivari Drum Funny

Oops, it should say viola not violin, the last word in my first post. Thanks CFB, clumsy as my banter is wrought anyway, with violin instead of viola it makes indeed no bloody sense at all....

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
-The viola burns longer

How can one tell that the floor of the stage is level?
-The violists are drooling out of both sides of their mouths

A violist, on her way to a rehearsal, stops at the 7-11 to buy a cup of coffee. Thinking that it is safe to leave her instrument on the back seat of her car for two minutes, she locks the car and runs in for her coffee. Coffee in hand, she returns to her car, and to her dismay sees that one of the car's windows has been smashed. On the back seat of the car she sees... two violas.

Yunnnk, yunnnk

Q: What do a viola player's fingers and lightening have in common?

A: The never strike the same place twice.

Q: Why have violists trouble in entering a room?
A: They never know when to come in.

What's the definition of "perfect pitch"?

-You throw a trombone in the lake and you hit a viola.