What's the funniest song you ever heard?


This isn't misunderstood lyrics, but the actual lyrics that were funny. There have been artists who made a living writing humorous stuff like Spike Jones, or Ray Stevens to name a few, but the funniest song I have ever heard might have been "Pretty Smart on My Part" by Phil Ochs.

What's tickled your funnybone?
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Nobody has volunteered the classic "Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through the Goalposts of Life)":

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Make me, oh make me, Lord more than I am
Make me a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I’ve got the will, Lord if you’ve got the toe.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Take all the brothers who’ve gone on before
And all of the sisters who’ve knocked on your door
All the departed dear loved ones of mine
Stick’em up front in the offensive line.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Yeah, Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.
Quite a few songs by the Fugs. Particularly on the "LIve at the Filmore" album. "Coca Cola" and "Mary Magdalene" come to mind. Did they also have an album titled "Golden Filth?" I haven't kept up with anyone who was into the Fugs, so don't really know the words anymore. Pretty rude stuff.
Also, Dana Lyon's "Cows With Guns."
Deb
“The Legend of the USS Titanic” as performed by Jaime Brockett and Chris Smithers

A sampling:

You wanna 'nother toke, Captain?...... And the Captain, he say....... RIGHT!!!!!!!!..............

.......He says “I am commencing to hold it in!”

He walked around the wheelhouse.
He went downstairs
He laid down.
He get up, he ran in the other room.
He sent a radiogram.
He came on back in.
He took a shower.
He come out.
He shaved.
He laid down.
He got up again.
He turned on the television.
He turned off the radio.
He played a game of cribbage.
He read his masked marvel comic book.
He walked thru the kitchen,
made a cup of tea,
made a cup of coffee,
sat down,
ate a piece of pie,
went upstairs,
played another game of cribbage,
went back in,
finished his other masked marvel comic book,
laid down,
he had the television, the radio, the egg beater, the air conditioner n’everything's all goin' at once. He walks up on deck and this is fifty two minutes later n' this cat ain't breathed yet!
So the First Mate see him standin' up there on the rail he's all puffed up like a balloon!
And he say, “ya gotta let it out, Captain!
There are actually many, by many artists. No list would be complete, however, without mention of Wierd Al. Songs like "Eat It" and "Like a Surgeon" are hilarious.
The classic, I'm a lumberjack by kids in the hall. Pretty funny damn song.

Honorable mention - A boy named sue, And then She bit me (fresh prince)

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

Mounties:
He cut down trees, he eat his lunch
He go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear pappa.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?
Suspendies...and a bra?

...He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

...He's/I'm a lumberjack and he's/I'm OK
He/I sleep all night and he/I work all day.