Recommend me a good psychologist

I'm a good psychologist. Honest. Really I am.
I've even met Dr. Westheimer. I was 14 at the time, and she said something to me that really embarassed me. Oddly enough, someone I currently work with (who is also a psychologist) is related to her by marriage.

Seriously though, both types of listening can be done (and even combinations of both) when you get a little bit of a rest from creating or tweaking the system. Use the right/left hemisphere analogy if that helps (it helps me, and I believe it). Hopefully, after some time off from focusing on the details of the sound rather than the music itself, you'll find, as I and many others here have, that actually having the better stuff makes for better enjoyment of the music, even without the analysis and the jargon.

Of course you could always call Dr. Laura.

I assume that your post is not a put on. I have a similiar background, at the university I managed to complete a major in musicology while getting degrees in EE and engineering physics. Here's a suggestion, since you wanted to be a conductor. Get the scores to the Beethoven or Haydn symphonies or the Mozart Operas or what ever your favorite pieces are. Then get some historic performances as well as modern ones and start listening seriously to the favorite pieces in different performances. Really get into the music and focus on what moves you. In recent years I've been doing this on a regular basis and it makes be completely forget my last system upgrade.

You've fallen into the trap that most of us do. You assembled a "Hi-Fi" and not a "music system". Your probably looking for a "cross" between the two, something that will keep your toes tappin' for ALL of your discs but will still allow you to take notice of an especially good recording when it shows up.

My suggestion is to start listening to the gear and how it works together in your system rather than buying by review, brand name or what the salesperson / friend "pushes" you into. Your first step towards enjoying the musicality of your system is to install a reasonably priced tube DAC into it. With as much money as you've got sunk into it, a few hundred more won't hurt anything and should make a WORLD of a difference. Sean
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PS: NO, you aren't crazy or alone.....

Several months ago I played a new CD for some high end audiophile friends. I thought the female singer was very talented and was kind of proud to have discovered her. I played my favorite selection for the group expecting them to go ga-ga over the performance. Much to my amazement not one person commented on the music. Every comment made focused on what they considered a flawed recording process, not the music or performer. Is there any hope for these people or are they terminal ?

Pancho, the answer to your problem, be it real or put on, is quite simple, but perhaps not so simple to achieve: If you can enjoy music on your car radio for example and get drawn into it, but cannot with your system, generally you've lost your innocence, because you're bugged by the idea, that your system could be "better". Rest assured, even a system, expertly assembled and costing half a million dollars or more- and those do exist -can all be "bettered" , by live music as the last resort. Unless you have something in your system which is really jarring and disturbing your musical sensibilities - and mostly this is caused by a harsh and twangy high-end or lifeless mids -just train yourself to NOT listen to your SYSTEM. This can best be achieved by putting on your favourite music, or even better, by putting on and discovering music of your favourite artists, which you are still unfamiliar with. Get the emphasis on to music and away from the system, as has already been suggested above. And then, most importantly, develop a little wisdom: Do you live in the house of your absolute dreams? Probably not. Do you own and drive your dream automobile? Also probably not. Do you fret about it ? Probably not. Do you constantly nag your significant other, because also there the old saying holds true, that "nothing is perfect"? Probably not. So, why not develop the same attitude about your stereo? Be happy with what you have, as long as you have it. This should not stop you from dreaming though, how one day you will get other and perhaps "better" PLAY things.(pun intended )But separate thinking about your system and listening to it for reasons of tweaking and experimenting strictly from listening for musical enjoyment. It can be done. All it needs is a bit of mental discipline.
I'll send you my bill later. (-;
Happy innocent listening! Detlof