How many audiophiles to screw in a light bulb?


This occured to me as an addendum to the current "Wacko" thread:

How many audiophiles does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to tell all the others that they should be using HIS light bulb, which blows away all the competition. Worth fifteen times the price he paid, the light caused him to deposit his jaw somewhere in the room where he first witnessed the light of this amazing bulb. He also requests if anyone should find his jaw that he would be grateful for its prompt return as he hasn't been able to eat any solid food ever since.

Three to argue about bulb's placement in the room for maximum light dispersion.

Six to insist that the bulb would render superior light if powered by the Phallic Serpent $2500 power cord.

Two to insist that light bulbs are old technology and introduce distortion into the spectrum of light.

Four to declare that a light bulb is no substitute for "real" light, and to greater appreciate the light the bulb provides one must also go out and absorb as much "real" light as possible.

Three to ask why there are so many used light bulbs on the market.

Two to suggest a power regenerator may stabilize the bulb's output and provide for greater enjoyment of the light eminating from it.

Twelve to argue the chain of hierarchy in delivery of the optimum output of light from the bulb.

One to design a custom stabilizing harness for the bulb, fabricated from polished steel and burled Bubinga wood to assure the bulb will be held in place and be immune to all vibrations.... in great style. Filled with lead shot, of course.

Four to suggest doing several A/B/A comparisons of different bulbs before deciding upon one.

Six to quote the recent bulb shootout in The Absolute Light that declared that Home Depot bulbs are every bit as good as NOS GE bulbs.

Three to decry that it's all snake oil, and point out that the rest of the bunch are all whackos and the world is coming to an end anyway.

OK, I'm sure some of you can come up with a few more....

Marco

jax2
Mejames,

You MUST use an inch pound torque wrench or you will break the bulb!!!!!!
One in "Bulbophile" to suggest that the latest Mark IV version, with "bulb chimneys" for improved convection cooling, will put out a few more watts than the one you have at even lower distortion than you have, which you can't hear anyway. (read on)

6 to help tilt back your bulb for the correct phase and time, even though you have a load of ear wax thick enough to be able to screw a bulb into your ear canal without falling out, ala "Uncle Fester", who happens to resemble a reviewer in the defunct magazine, "The Bulber".

4 to lament the good old days, while reading 1970s issues of "Bulb Review".

I have more, but the grass need cutting....with ear protection, of course!
the light bulb will never challenge the superiour light of the sun though... TAS The Absolute Sunlight
136 to tell us that the bulb (solid state)is too bright & they are going back to candles (tubes).
73 to debate whether the light shines clearer with the shade on or the shade off.

8 to test the light response with a Rives lumenecence gauge tool and a special $199. test lamp.

27 to explain why the light shines better at night than during the day.

1 to ask if the bulb can be modified for use in the UK.