Upon reflection, I think that some of what I'm experiencing has to do with the extent that the Internet (both retail and sites like Audiogon) has changed how you shop for high-end audio.
When I bought my first good system (PS Audio Amp, Vandersteen 2c's, Systemdek turntable) back in the mid-1980's, I spent about 4 months going from shop to shop (I lived in the NYC area back then)... I'll never forget the single-speaker Linn dealer who tried to literally confiscate my wristwatch while I listened to equipment!...) I ended up buying my stuff from two dealers: Innovative Audio in Brooklyn, and a guy in Lynnbrook, Long Island whose name I can no longer remember.
Anyway, there was no internet, and no question that I was going to buy my gear from one of the brick and mortar stores I'd visitedÂ… gear that I'd actually HEARD first. That's how I ended up with the Vandy's: it was love at first listen.
But now I live in Austin which has a nice group of high-end shops, but still limits what you can get to hear.
Plus, between the range of stuff you can learn about (and covet) on the 'Net, the advice you can get on a site like Audiogon, and the possibility of picking up used gear here, everything changes. I started out this upgrade process swearing that I'd only buy something that I'd heard first. And I ended up with a bunch of components that I'd never heard first.
Times do change.