Single ended vs xlr balanced


I have switched backwards and forwards (going slightly mad in the process) testing (long run) interconnects.
I know some sound engineers, and they tell me I am probably persuading myself that balanced is better than single ended and THERE IS NO REASON WHY SINGLE ENDED CAN SOUND INFERIOR TO BALANCED. Sorry to use capitals but this seem to be a fair summary of the be all and end all of technical discussion. If I was to guess however, my mind would tend to follow the technical opinion not go against it, surely? In my mind the balanced is a deeper more airy sound, just better presence all round. The technical response is that I am not comparing like with like, as the balanced runs at higher voltages and subsequently higher volume (6db). I had a shock at this news and found out therefore by accident that my Bryston 28bsst2s amps have a switch upping the output from 23 to 29db to compensate. Also did I hear properly that Bryston kit is set up preferring balanced? My processor is a Bryston sp3 so maybe my preferred balanced system  is what I needed anyway. But it is odd that a reputable company like Bryston would have such a policy (if it has foundation) and not stress that on their literature. If my system can be adjusted for speaker levels then volume output is irrelevant - or is it if that higher voltage has some effect?
And don't get me started on aes/ebu vs spdif! The aes to me is noticeably superior for the same reasons as the rca vs xlr debate. Then hdmi vs spdif ... (Time for my medicine ........)
So my question is - forgetting technicalities which can get more and more complicated by the minute  - do other peoples' ears agree with mine?
tatyana69
Tanya, you have to listen in each and every case. It may get more complicated: with some recordings you will prefer XLRs, with others RCAs. I used to switch interconnects depending on what I was listening, both RCAs though. 
There is no objectively best.  But if you run very long cables RCAs must be very good or you will lose some signal and get noise.
How did you switch interconnects? Strangely enough I am collaborating on a preamp that will give an xlr/rca switching option for analogue (record deck and dsd dac), and a passthrough to facilitate a digital source/streamer in surround sound (7.1 +)
My Bryston 28bssts have a 6db uplift switch for rca so when the project is completed I just need to pop round the back of the amps and switch to rca/uplift and back again for xlr
Do you have examples of what makes you switch?
I have a simpler system: turntable with phono stage, cassette deck, cd player and integrated amplifier. I did it only with phono stage to amp connection. Again, only RCAs, just different cables. I simply turned the system off and changed interconnects. Both are by Purist Audio, one is almost pure silver conductors, another almost pure copper conductors. With jazz/rock fusion I definitely preferred copper cables, with acoustic guitar both were excellent but had different balance and I usually kept the silver one, with female vocals it very much depended on the recording. They are both excellent cables, silver has more resolution and copper more weight, dynamics and soundstage are about equal. With cd player the copper is much better overall, with Nakamichi deck it is the same as with the turntable/phono, I left the copper one. Also, XLR cables are easier to make sound right, so they should be less expensive for the same quality. Good RCAs have the right to be more expensive. Bryston gravitates towards pro audio and I wouldn't be surprised to learn that their gear sounds better with XLRs.
..lots of people say lots of things on these pages, but not much truth/knowledge is displayed.  Balanced circuits are always better if and only if the components are differentially balanced themselves.  What that means is that the component has two completely separate circuits ....one for the +, and one for the - portions of the signal.  You can imagine the cost of such a circuit.  In order to keep the price of the component reasonable, manufacturers put XLR connections on to their components, even though they are single ended...just for bragging rights.  Balanced cables on such circuits have little value.  If you have or are buying components that have differntially balanced circuits, there is a great value to XLR connections.
I of course was talking only about situations when there are no differentially balanced circuits. But even then I would listen given the opportunity. So far I discovered only one thing that you cannot really do by ear, you can try though, and that is aligning the cartridge. I also wouldn't set tracking force by ear because what I may like most might damage the cartridge. So, Tanya, listen as much as you can, some results might be surprising. Trust your ears. And one more thing, unless you already know it. If you buy new or lightly used cables, make sure to let them play for at least couple of hundred hours before judging their performance, pay no attention to how they change within this time interval unless you want to entertain yourself. Some cables require 300 hours of breaking in and power cords often even more.