I think this is very much in the scale of temperature we are talking about. Even low temp solder can’t melt until it reaches 360 degrees or so. So yeah, holding a soldering iron to the leads for a while can really damage a cap. I usually have my iron around 620-650 depending on how much metal has to heat up, BUT....
The time of exposure matters a lot. A quick hot iron can expos parts to less total thermal energy than a slow one, and therefore the internals of the cap will heat up less.
Anyway, this is all theory. :) The fact that the cap that failed was in fact exposed as I was worried about kind of explains it in my mind. :)
The cap is dead anyway. Try again and make sure you can solder fast. Lesson learned.
Best,
Erik