Anyone who thinks we live in a perfect world is an absolute fool. OP started with an excellent idea, contacting AR directly, to ask for guidance.
IMHO it is reasonable to expect excellent results and customer sx when you follow their suggestions, and to also hold them accountable for the results of following their advice.
OP screwed up badly by sending the amp to the dealer first. AR said distributor. I think they suggested this for a reason. They probably have a very high level of trust in their distributors and are very confident their distributors will uphold their standards.
AR was told their was a white flash and a burnt smell. I'm not a rocket scientist, but to me, unless the tube blew open, a tube failure ought not to smell funny. It's entirely reasonable to follow AR recommendation at that point, and send it to the distributor, not order tubes and see if that works, especially under warrantee, when putting in a fresh tube could cause further damage they should not have to be held accountable for.
AR did NOT say they would do the upgrade with your supplied tubes. To draw an analogy to automotive repair, reach your own conclusion that they should is YOUR problem, not theirs.
If the OP had presented this exact scenario, and then complained of two issues, I'd not have responded. First, he is correct, Dealer should have returned the tubes he supplied. Second, I think if this was all warrantee work, AR's distributor should have returned it repaired with a replacement tube for the one tube presumably that failed under warrantee, unless tubes are generally regarded as wear items. (That I don't know)
As a person in the US with a very litigious society, and one who is very deeply involved in motorsports, I have to comment on the interesting side discussion about car repair and bringing in your own parts.
So, to my Aussie legal expert audiophiles:
If I bring my BMW in to a dealer and give them a cheap aftermarket control arm to replace a worn one, they must apparently use it, despite not having come from their OEM supplier who is held to certain standards.
If I die in a car crash who's fault is traced to a failure in that control arm, can my wife sue the BMW dealer for faulty work? In the US, BMW could certainly expect a lawsuit if the dealer had used OEM parts....