Many good comments. There are as many different answers to your question as there are different personalities. In other words, every listener has a different experience when listening to music. Some wear the audiophile hat some of the time and the music lover hat the other times. Some wear the audiophile hat all the time and are not particularly interested in the music. Some listeners actually find the trappings of high-end audio a distraction from the listening experience and is one of the reasons that they aren't interested in audio; they wear the music lover hat all the time. Some wear both hats at the same time with varying degrees of success depending on personality. Judging someone else's motivations is useless and presumptuous; however, since you obviously seem to have some concerns about all this I think it's important to acknowledge that every time one's attention is entirely focused on what the audio system is doing one is not focused on what the music is doing; simple as that. Still, a great sounding system is a beautiful thing and can greatly deepen the appreciation of the music.
**** It’s not that I really care what tag is pinned on me, ****
Good!
**** I was just saying, the message of the song, isn't as important as it used to be ****
Obviously, there is a little voice in your head talking to you.
**** haven't heard much new music that does it for me. ****
I think that may be at the root of your concern and what may be contributing to your feeling that you are focusing on the sound of your system at the expense of the music. No matter what your preferred genre of music is there is probably a ton of music that you still haven't heard. I could point out that there is a lot great new music being recorded, but even if new music is generally not your thing there is bound to be a lot of great old music in your preferred genre that you haven't heard. Perhaps your focus should be on discovering new or old music new to you that will shift your focus back on to things like the meaning of lyrics and a great chord progression. What music do you listen to?