Harbeth 30.1 ? The Ultimate Speaker under $5K ?

I’ve Heard Harbeth sound the most like real with instruments and Klipsch will excite but aren’t as true

That’s the problem with relying on opinions of others. Everyone hears differently. Harbeths are good but I had the opposite experience in which Klispch Heresy 3s had greater tonal accuracy, to my ears anyway. Harbeth has a strong fan base and potent marketing, but they’re hardly the only competent player. Personally, I think most of the other BBC lineage brands: Graham, Stirling Broadcast and Spendor produce more accurate tone. I can’t exactly claim I’m a musician but my daughter is and I have guitars, a cello and viola at home. If you want a crazy accurate speaker in terms of tonal accuracy, you’d be hard pressed to beat the Stirling Broadcast LS3/6s at any price. They’re priced right at $5K. Unfortunately, they also are too small for your space.

The Devores will load your room. The Vandys 3As might be good as well, but like the BBC derivatives - they’re not really designed for high SPLs -- nor are they best for rock. For EDM and Rock, you want hard-hitting, kick in the chest bass. You won’t get it with the British monitors, or planars, or electrostats. You want a large-cone-surface speaker with high power handling.

Can't go wrong with the 7es3!  Fantastic speaker!   

I always gravitate towards : big room >  larger speakers and more of them , so: 

Klipsch Cornwall III
Devore 0/93 
Dunlavy SC-V (although these might end my relationship, gf killers)

any other big , authoritative speakers? 

Dunlavy don’t play super loud and are preferred by classical listeners not rock. They aren’t fast and punchy but have lovely tone. Dunlavy have a narrow listening sweetspot which is ill suited to your large room. Also, as you are a drummer I think Dunlavy will fall a bit short of your needs in the sound reproduction of drums.


https://www.mixonline.com/technology/high-end-studio-monitor-shootout-atc-scm-300a-and-dunlavy-sc-v-371391

Devore O/93 have a rather scooped mid range as do all speakers with a 10” woofer expected to cover the mid range.

Of your list that leaves only the Cornwall - a classic rock speaker and your best choice of the three.

Hi Tommy,

Never heard Devore or Klipsch speakers. Would be very interesting. Harbeths I tested some. May buy the p3esr some day. Very beautiful for some music but under model 40 I think not made for playing especially loud. My main systems are ATC 150ASL (a legend) and Tannoy DC10A combined with two SVS SB-16 subs. So I'm able to "feel" the music when I want to. My secondary more intimate system is Lipinski L707 or Tannoy DC8 combined with two ATC C1 subs. 
My opinion is that for all music and especially rock you need to start in the bottom, that is to have two subs that can play with high resolution (low distortion) at high spl levels. Then to compare these subs with a good monitor. Most big speakers (except for large ATC) are not good enough in the bass (they just sound bass without definition and with lots of distortion). I'm not sure your SVS can play as loud as you want. But if it can then buy another. Rythmik is another good choise. You must have at least two subs for good bass. Then cobine these with good monitors that doesn't play to much bass on their own. I can happily recommend a used pair Tannoy DC8. It has the dual concentric speaker which can play very loud with very high definition and also presents a very fine sound landscape with superb imaging.
You can also try used active monitors. Favourites of mine are the JBL LSR 4326P or 4328P, which also have inbuilt room eq and dac, so you only need a streamer to listen to digital music (Tidal). Forget your LP's... :-)
Buying used your budget will easily be suffcient. Good Luck!!