When I went from a juvenile all-in-one TT/radio/speakers to a 25 watt Kenwood receiver, Dual 1218 with a Shue cartridge, and some neat little speakers a friend gave me (don't know what they are, but they still play after 45 years) the main thing I was looking for was LOUD without distortion. When I moved to a Nakamichi Receiver 2/ Stax SRD 40/ Yamaha YP B4/ Shure V15 III I got "realism" and crystalline clarity. Those headphones let me hear thinks I never heard before and I could understand lyrics a hell of a lot better. Then I added a pair of Boston Acoustics T-830s and I got a room full of performers, not all piled up on each other or the same depth.
The system I have now includes, first and foremost, a room that lets me position myself and my speakers properly. I waited a very, very long time for that! The rest of the system cost me about $8,000 over the years. It would be twice that if I bought everything new today. Now I define realism differently, I can hear micro detail (would that my listening equipment was still as good as it was way back) and space is 3 dimensional, independent of the speakers and the stage extends wider than their placement. I can count the number of back-up vocalists and usually identify them. (another of my avocations) I believe my humble system now exceeds my ability to hear, as cable upgrades no longer provide any audible improvement. I enjoy the finer LPs, SACDs, DVD-As, etc; but the music is what counts. Thank goodness there are so many fresh new artists creating unique new music, such as Nicole Atkins, Eileen Rose, Chris Robley, Frazzy Ford
to discover
and some oldies that I passed over, like Gene Clark, Patsy Cline, Joan Osborne, and Emmylou Harris. I still obsess over the lyrics and try to get what the writer was thinking, Just like I did when I thought Neil Young's Hello Mr. Soul was about a friend turning him in for drugs (wrong) or Peter Gabriel's Red Rain was about Jonestown (wrong).
Don't tell my wife, but I've spent more on media than equipment.