@honashagen , Thanks for the thread. I am having a similar experience. Last year I replaced a BDP-95, which I liked a lot, with a BDP-105 with some EVS mods. When I compared the two, I was disappointed because I thought the difference in sound quality was not proportional to the difference in cost.
I still hadn't learned my lesson and recently bought a used Ayre C5xeMP.
I can hear a bigger difference between the Ayre and Oppo, but at the moment, I prefer the Oppo on most, not all, material. Sorry @theo . ;^)
It may well be because I haven't spent enough time acclimating my self to the Ayre yet. Or it may be that the Oppo aligns better with my particular pattern of hearing loss, which I think influences our preferences more than we'd like to think after a certain age.
Anyway, I'll give the Ayre a while longer to grow on me before deciding whether to sell it or not, but I've finally learned a lesson: Just enjoy what you enjoy.