Dealer behavior issue


I would like opinions as to whether members feel that I’m being unreasonable to think
that a very popular dealer has not performed so well on my behalf, the customer. Last summer I ordered an expensive ARC amp understanding that delivery would most likely be in Oct which was fine with me. I did make a commitment which I understand.
My situation seriously changed due to my wife’s health but I agree that’s not his problem.
At this point I requested to pay a handsome restocking fee, 2-3k, can’t remember the amount but he was cavalier saying why would I want to do this?
So that was that.
The unit is about to be delivered and as I’ll immediately resell the unopened box I gave him a last offer.
The transaction had a current unit model trade in that retailed for 8k and is a favorite product of his and he carries it.
Yesterday I offered to give him this unit as the restock fee with 90 days to fully refund me.
I have received no response so he didn’t like my offer which is his right. I have spent over 40k retail over the last two years with him with no problems.
So in the end I changed my mind which is the lowest form of audio behavior. Was I foolish to think this guy would accommodate me? The product I offered to GIVE him will fly out his door for $4k .
This is just business as usual ?
4425
I've spent $40-$50k with Audio Classics on McIntosh gear over the past few years. The average piece between $4-10k. If they don't have the item I'm asking for in stock, they order it (with no deposit from me) and when they receive it and they're ready to ship to me, they request payment.
@gwbeers.................

a $100.00 deposit on a big ticket item shows the purchaser most likely doesn’t have the funds to purchase it yet.  I think a 25% deposit is fair and it should be that way throughout the industry.  

I too too have spent many tens of thousands at Audio Classics and Mike Sastra has never asked me for an advance deposit on some
thing he ordered for me, expensive or not.  He does have my CC on file though. I believe AC is the exception to the rule.  

I wasnt happy with the GE dealer for wanting that kind of deposit, but I trust them and really wanted the speakers.  They also delivered the speakers and carried my Triton One speakers up to my second floor where my secondary system is.  In the end I was happy which is what counts the most. 
Interesting, under "ordering" on their website they don't state that , guess it will be worthwhile to give them a call and checkout that option
@4425 One question for 4425. Every state that I am aware of has laws in regards to deposits and the way they can be distributed/forefeited
As such, have you looked into your legal rights in regards to this particular transaction?
really my post wanted to know if other members have had an experience with a dealer that was so inflexible. there’s nothing legal here. we agreed to disagree. that’s all.
in the end i committed to buy it and so i have. i can’t use it now which he was told well in advance of manufacture. It was his prerogative to not accommodate me. 
clearly there’s a beef with me for changing my mind. i won’t name him bc he’s a well thought of dealer, i think, and the problem was caused by me. 
i made a deal and have never done anything to cause harm to a dealer. i understand that they are just businessmen in the end. 
he’d have made way more money taking my deal. go figure