Why are brick and mortar HiFi dealers so bad?


I have rarely found a reasonably decent HiFi dealer and I live in the New York metro area where there are probably more per capita than anywhere else.  I've been to a lot of shops and I'm tired of the smug attitudes, the lousy customer service, weird return policies, etc.  Friends state that the owners are jaded because people come in and listen to a bunch of gear and then go buy it elsewhere or pre-owned on web sites like Audiogon.  If that is the case, figure out a better sales strategy or shutter your store.  I've moved onto Music Direct and Audio Advisor and Upscale Audio.  Buy it and try it on your own system in your own listening room with a money-back guarantee.  If you know a decent HiFi retailer, please pass it along.
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@millercarbon

If someone were reading your post and didn’t actually know better, they might arrive at the conclusion that the better audio stores are simply catering to the wrong people.

You seem to be inferring if a consumer has reached a certain financial strata that their hearing and taste declines considerably at an inverse direction than their financial resources. You also infer that their intelligence suffers at just the moment that their financial success is ironically on the uptick. The more financial resources someone has, they must be dumb, with no hearing and no taste.

This is a troubling trend indeed.

In all sincerity, what you seem to be describing as your ideal audio retailer is more like a hobbyist's clubhouse. The idea that you should be able to drop by with your gear, interconnects and a desire to just play around is actually kindof of quaint when you think about it.

Once again, these people are in the business of making money. Those that do, stay in business, those that don't.... I remember a few shops like you describe back in the day. They usually evolved from being in the repair, tube, mom & pop shop into a hifi shop. Usually owned by a bench tech, likely a WWII era tech at that. The military trained alot of wonderful people who helped our hobby develop. Unfortunately, its a flawed business model today.
ghasley, its not flawed it just doesn't exist any more. 
Sales people know right away whether or not a customer is "qualified" or not. The biggest tell is what car they drive up in. Qualified customers always get treated better. It is just how sales people behave. You want great service at a modern Hi Fi shop, buy a Porsche. 
Well to keep things positive and give Millercarbon a larger sample size than just Definitive ( who btw loaned me a $10 k Levinson price a decade ago for a weeklong trial on just a handshake), he and really anyone in Seattle area should check out Advanced in Tacoma ( while owned by Definitive ) is has the Havens/Hardesty dna and vibe.
Eric ( and George the tech ) at Gig Harbor Audio are great, they probably even have your old Dynaco amp...

finally for the OP ++++ for Audio Connection in Verona
@mijostyn  A number of years ago I pulled into a Boston area high end store the same time as a guy in an arrest me red Ferrari. I was dressed in a 3 piece suit and he was very casual. The sales guy couldn’t do enough for me until he asked about the Ferrari and I said I would love to have one.  His reaction was priceless ! The owner of the store who I had dealt with several times wasn’t like that. He treated everyone the same so I found it more amusing than upsetting.