Help me understand John Coltrane .... seriously.

What is it you are trying to understand?

Ask yourself what is it you understand about another genre?

Dont try and understand Jazz.

Your sort of non connection to Coltrane just means its outside of your taste for listening.

How many Yanni or Nana Maskouri albums do.you own?

So what if you dont dig Coltrane.

Move on.

Erik, I have trouble with free-form jazz too. I just can’t quite get most of it. I’m more an Oscar Peterson kind of guy. That being said, I will play Coltrane, Davis, et al, in the car, or as background music. This allows my brain to absorb this music without focused concentration. After a few long sessions, I’m ready for more serious listening. After this, if I still don’t get it, I probably never will.

Erik, 

I love jazz and I don’t love Coltrane. I respect him and like some of his work. Overall, I find his lead lines stabbing, terse and not very melodic. He often sounds like he’s racing through scales and modes. I’m with you. 
When I was first exploring jazz 25 years ago I listened to him because he’s in the cannon of popular jazz. Today, I’m down to owning just two of his albums and I rarely play them. 

I recommend picking up a copy of Ted Gioia's book, "How to Listen to Jazz." I've been a jazz fan for decades, but I still found this book helpful and enlightening.

It's not dense, very readable. As you can tell from the title, it's written for the everyman and it not technical.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Listen-Jazz-Ted-Gioia/dp/0465093493/

Hey I don't get Rap "music", it doesn't bother me in the least.  If you do not like bop or post bop jazz, so what?   It does not make any sense to some people. Others can recognize the structure in the improvising.  They play the notes in the chords around the melody. It is like algebra instead of arithmetic.  Oh they know ALL the rules, and know how to break them. It is not totally random the notes they play.