Help with TT ideas for my first TT

I would like better separation. Sound stage is wide but not as deep as I would like.

I acknowledge I like part of the chase, and the tweaks that are part of the audio experience.

I know I need to do more research, but how do people compare without rolling the dice.

If you cannot compare in person, then study, read, find possible reviews of the carts you might be considering looking for their strong and weak points, Etc. Ask members here who might have the same cart and/or table.

We all like tweaks. That is pretty normal. If you can afford the Clearaudio, go for it, try it, as you can always put the stock cartridge in storage and use as a back-up.

Lack of soundstage depth may not have to do with the cart itself, there are so many other factors, including how that particular recording was made. Phono pre could also be a factor. Or, have you tried moving or tweaking your speakers? After getting my new vinyl rig setup, I found my old speaker locations (width) and toe-in needed tweaked/changed. In my case it wasn’t about lack of depth, but the table/arm/cart changed the width presentation quite a bit vs the old rig.

This is my second system so I am comparing to my
main which does this better and why I am looking for it. But to you your point it could be sone thing different so will compare some cds between the two to get a better baseline. Initially there was some minor brightness but that was resolved with the phono cable change.

with respect to used cartridges, why is a reasonable life span of a cart, 1000 hours? More or Less?  Also what are signs of a cart is worn out, or what should I listen for?

You guys have been great as a resource appreciate it.

Many cartridges have a lifespan of at least 1,000 hours. That said, I know some have gone beyond 1,000 without issue. Keeping the needle clean is probably as important as overall lifespan hours. I believe Clearaudio states their lifespan to be 2,000 hours, so it may be hard to go wrong with that purchase if it is otherwise in good shape.

The really bad pops that make it through the music are caused by a deep scratch usually caused by miss handling, It is very rare to have a record come with a scratch like this. 
As for stylus life there are several variables that are important. First is quality of the diamond. A pristine clean diamond is critical. Any inclusions will cause accelerated wear. Good diamonds sparkle white when viewed with a USB microscope. Then there is the shape of the diamond. The more diamond that contacts the groove the slower the wear. Older spherical and elliptical diamonds are going to wear faster than modern fine line types. Then there is tracking force. Too low is just as bad if not worse than too high as the cartridge starts bouncing around in the groove pounding into the groove walls. One play like this can ruin a record. Always set up your cartridge with an old record you do not care about. 
Playing dirty records never helps. A stylus is always going to collect some lint on occasion. This is harmless. A ball of gunk stuck to the stylus is an indicator of dirty records and means a change in record hygiene is indicated.