Tone arm holes do not line up - best way to attach TT?

Thanks for the encouragement. I was beginning to get the impression that the vinyl hobby was for machinist who loved to tinker and then played music when they got bored :) 

On a more serious note, I did, in fact, use a piece of walnut and cantilevered it so the arm could go out as far as it needed to so that the cart would line up with the grid. The pivot-to-spindle range is a few inches outside the spec but there is a template provided by Reed that measures the "resting arm" position of the tone arm to the spindle and that matches. I set the weight at 2 grams per spec and spun an album. The needle flew across the album toward the spindle gliding on top of the grooves. I rechecked the weight 3 times each time the exact same thing happened. I increased the weight incrementally making it heavier until it engaged in the groove and of course it sounded horrible. 

I did confirm that the TT will accommodate a 12" arm. If that is the case, I should not need to have a cantilever.  But clearly the arm when seated on the TT normal position was not in adjustment range for the cart ... If I only use one bolt to attach the cart to the arm, then it will adjust but I am sure it needs both points of attachment. 

This might be related ... I am having trouble setting the height of the arm. It has an adjustment up and down almost 1/2 inch on the arm controls. If I lower it enough for the arm to be parallel per my gauge, then the arm is too low and the lift does not raise it above the platter. So I raised it up enough so that it clears the platter but it is about 1 mm off of parallel.

Could the problem be that I need to install the arm higher than the normal height for the table? The walnut piece is at the same height as the built-in arm holder. 

On a related note, Reed specific, the arm sits in a gyro type set up with 3 tiny pins that rest in 3 tiny sockets. I can adjust the height of the pins slightly with an allen wrench. The issue is that the slightest touch throws the pins out of the sockets. I thought tightening them would make the system less fragile but it does not seem to. Returning the arm to the holder regardless of how gentle, often throws the pins out of socket. It does not seem likely that this is normal. This is probably Reed specific and I should reach out to them. In any case, all my experiments above were with the pins correctly in the sockets.

So between the table, phono stage, arm, cart and record cleaner, I have a small fortune into little vinyl. I cannot play an album. Any help would be greatly appreciated. 

Do you have the Reed 3P manual?  If not - download here -  Bedienungsanleitung-Tonarm-Reed-3P.pdf (bohne-audio.com) and follow directions accordingly.  

When you say the turntable can handle a 12" tonearm - does it have an adjustable armboard - each tonearm has a specific mounting pattern.  

For the tonearm to fit, the pivot to spindle distance must be set to a distance of  295.6mm (roundup to 296mm).  Refer to the above manual to determine the pivot point - Figure 5 Item 1.  Make sure you have all adjustments initially set as specified in the manual - including Anti-Skate; too little of which may cause the tonearm to fly to the spindle.  

Something is "off", if you set the VTF to 2 g (for what cartridge?) and the tonearm flies across the grooves toward the spindle. Any VTF greater than 2g is very unusual (high) for most of the commonly used MC cartridges. As Antinn says, check anti-skate. Have you applied any anti-skate force at all? But even with zero AS, I would be surprised that the stylus cannot sit down in the groove well enough to avoid the issue you describe. Your best bet might be to consult a local friend who can actually visit your home and help you figure it out. Or the dealer that sold you all that expensive stuff. Don’t give up on it.
EDIT.  It just occurred to me that you also ought to check the routing of the wires that exit the arm wand at the rear and eventually provide outputs to the phono stage.  If the wires at the arm wand exit hole are twisted or torqued in some way, they could be responsible for an excessive side force that would be pulling your tonearm inward toward the spindle.  But Reed tonearms are well designed to avoid that issue, so this is a shot in the dark.

What's off is your spindle to pivot distance, which you already know is "a few inches outside spec". 

So here's the deal. All the alignment we're doing is to get the record to drag the stylus across smoothly without too much error. That's why someone came up with the idea of your long arm in the first place. A longer arm means a longer radius means less angle change across the record. This is all based on some guys idea. Its important not to get too caught up in some guys ideas. Except mine. You can do that with mine. 

Okay so you got this very long arm and its mounted too close to the spindle. So what you do, take your arm and swing it out over the platter and look where the stylus falls. Look where it falls relative to the arm pivot point. Look where it falls relative to an imaginary line drawn from the spindle through the stylus. Look how cockeyed that line is with the arm. That's your problem right there. 

Because the minute the record starts spinning its dragging on the stylus, and look at that angle. See? The spinning record is pulling the stylus towards the center. This happens on all spinning records by the way. Its just that normally the angle is almost square because the spindle to pivot distance is correct and so the arm doesn't go skating across the record like yours is doing. 

You're trying to fix this with excess VTF which seems logical but in reality is only making the situation even worse. Because its this skating force that is pulling it in. The greater the VTF the greater the force. Not to mention you're putting excess force on the cantilever, putting it out of alignment, but that's getting a little deep for you for now. 

Get a bigger piece of wood. Move that arm out where it belongs. Do not ever exceed recommended VTF. Skating problems are corrected with anti-skate adjustment, not VTF.

Thanks for all the troubleshooting with so limited facts. The cartridge is Triangle Arts Apollo. The TT is Hanss. 

I only exceeded the weight of 2 grams as an experiment to see what it would take to get the stylus to sit in the grove. It went around for 1/2 a revolution at a slightly heavier weight. 

I am using a homemade arm board made from the current armboard and a walnut piece temporarily until I get one from the Hanss. That may affect the fidelity but not the functionality. 

The anti skate setting might be an issue. I adjusted it in and out and it did not make a material difference. I think the angle of the arm is far enough off that it is not within anti-skate adjustment range. 

If we go back to basics - When I put the center pivot of the arm at the specified distance, 296mm, the cart cannot be turned far enough on the tone arm shell head to be adjusted within the grid. So isn't that my core problem? Maybe I over complicated my "ask". Any solutions to that?