1. why/how do 16 ohm speakers make amps sound better, with more resolution?
They don't. It does change the sound and in making it more lean and etchy it can seem to be more detailed. Its not.
Because of the way they are wired its very easy for Eric Alexander to make his Tekton Moabs in either 8 ohm or 4 ohm. Everyone following the advice you mentioned told me to order 8 ohms. It will be so much better. Especially since I have a tube amp. They made all the same technical arguments you have undoubtedly heard. I talked with Eric and went with 4 ohms. Hard to imagine how these speakers could be any better.
But if you want stories, here is the antidote to the 16 ohm story:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMAO9LPsups
2. why speaker cables less critical? perhaps this is why I/we don't hear cable differences in my system?
We have no idea why you don't hear differences in your system. Could be the wires you are comparing are so similar the differences are so small its too hard to hear. The differences are there, guaranteed. My first experiment was with ordinary 14 gauge lamp cord, two runs shotgun vs one. Not much difference but it was there. Everything from that point on has been orders of magnitude greater and easier to hear. So its there, just waiting on you to find it.
I'm using my homemade twisted pair of cat 5 now (8 individually insulated small diameter solid core).The good news is this is so far down the scale you have nowhere to go but up.
Forget impedance. Forget construction. Focus on sound quality.