Something amazing - what would you buy

Good questions.  You're not nosy at all.  My friends who play poker tell me if you can't spot the patsy when you sit down to a game, it's you.  I didn't have to spend much time reading threads on Audiogon to realize I am the patsy here.

80% movies, 20% 2 channel music, but I've heard if you get a good theater system you'll find yourself listening to more concert films.

Sound performance characteristics - I do love the accuracy that I've heard from Martin Logan and have no great love for over-mixed bass.  I also think I don't have enough experience to answer the question as well, nor as thoughtfully as I would like to.

Magnolia - yes.

Others - My background is as a retail box consumer who has only just become aware of different/better options.  So I've not listened to many.  The best sound I've ever heard was Nautilus speakers with Mcintosh amps at a local high-end store.  The descriptions I've read of Sonus Faber make me think I would like those.

Walls -  Yes, to the covering.  No to the location of the walls.  It's an existing room that I won't be able to change the shape or size.

Willgolf - I'm sorry to hear of the declining sight.  That must be very hard, especially for a home theater enthusiast.

I appreciate your comments on the B&W.  I think of them as the prettiest girl at my very small school of experience.  Certainly open to better (prettier) experiences now.

I am planning on in-wall speakers on the sides.  I was thinking the floor standing speakers will give a better performance than speakers in the wall for the front (but open to education).  No thought either way about in the back of the room.

I did feel like I was getting steered to Savant.  My experience with Control4 is limited to a Las Vegas hotel I like.  It seemed straightforward and that appeals to me.

I am thinking about a music server.  I know even less about those though.

I agree about the power conditioner.  They spec'd a Mcintosh one in what I have, but I have no idea on how to judge those, past knowing I need one.

I dunno, you are ready to spend serious money and you are dealing with what amounts to a box shop. It’s probably a stronger home theatre set up than a stereo rig, but that’s just my impression based on reading the list you provided.
I did a couple of different rooms over the years with large projection systems and racks full of pretty serious equipment, but always kept the two channel stereo system separate. There was one point in my life where the last thing I wanted to do when I got off a flight was come home and fiddle with a tonearm- I just wanted to press a remote control and see a movie. There came another point in my life where the home theatre system was literally collecting dust and when I moved, I gave away the 6 foot tall custom Mid-Atlantic racks to a friend who does pro-sound, along with most of the video equipment, which was dated.
Given the current plague, it isn’t easy to travel to see, hear and evaluate some other systems that high end dealers can offer. I think the trick, especially if this is somewhat new to you, is to visit those dealers in the US that purport to offer the best with your black card firmly locked away. And see what their systems designer can do-- since that is part of it too- the aesthetics of the gear in the room tend toward ugly in my estimation, unless you are a gearhead. (For example, it sounds silly, but if I were watching a movie, I wouldn’t be interested in the green glow of McI stuff in the room. Yeah, I know, you can turn off the displays altogether).
I’m not going to recommend equipment brands-- I will say this, though: home theatre sound is entirely different than two channel stereo. Given your priorities, maybe that’s OK.
This could be a hugely fun project and I don’t want to rob you of any of the joy of it; to the contrary, there are shops in the US that can really put things together and your budget might be strained, but you’ll get a sense of what is possible and work from there.
PS: I was a denizen of NYC and environs for decades, but starting living in Austin part-time around 2012 and relocated to Austin in 2017. I've found Texas, much as I love it, to be a virtual wasteland for high end audio. (Not so sure about video b/c I don't really focus on that anymore). There are some serious systems here, but depending on where you are, you may be forced to travel to see and hear some of this stuff. 

Maxwave - I agree a local installer is a requirement.  The same lack of depth in the equipment that leads me to ask for the views of the Forum on it, has me convinced that I wouldn't do the setup without a professional.

Also, you guys are starting to change my view on the setup.  Where I was thinking the 800 d3 could do double duty as a front speaker for the HT and a main speaker for the audio system, I may be better off with Tekton HT setup and a separate if co-located HiFi system.