I’ve run many Koetsu models on the 9” Magnesium SME tonearms with no issues or spacers required, although the heavier stone bodies prefer the heavier counterweight instead of the lighter original hanging way out away from the pivot. If a headshell spacer is required then its likely to be a case of the cueing cylinder not being set low enough at its lowered position. If the fluid damper is available (Series IV.Vi & Series V), some cases call for just a delicate “dip of the toe” of the paddle tip into the fluid for solidifying the image without over damping.
Dynavector, is also an excellent choice, especially when going above their first two models.
I tend to agree with your turntable suspension damping thought about increasing the gap provides less suspension damping.