@2psyop I don’t see a problem here. You just need to use the 1:1 spending method with your wife. For each dollar you spend on "irrational" purchases for you, you graciously allow her to "invest" the same amount in "irrational" purchases for her. Just don’t keep score. You may not like what you find out.
As for myself, I’m a retired audio dealer who still spends one day a week servicing vintage audio equipment. The goal: "Prevent good equipment from going into the dumpster." Once in a while, I come across a piece of abandoned equipment. I’ll repair and hang on to what I consider "a good example of vintage audio gear" for my grandkids. The problem is, of course, I now have more vintage gear than grandkids. I can also tell you that I have more deep regrets after selling off a piece of gear that I should have kept in my collection, than purchasing a few more items that I shouldn't have.
I’m also a car guy and have 9 cars. Hifi gear is much easier (and, cheaper) to operate, maintain, insure and store than old cars. My user ID: "waytoomuchstuff" has more than audio implications
Thanks for the post. Good stuff!