tiggerfc
I can emphathize with your plight.
For decades I've suffered from occasional debilitating bouts of hyperacusis.
That last time was only about 3 years ago when low flying jets at an air show straffed low over head (I wasn't attending the show, just found myself unluckily in their flight path). The damage was so bad sound was distorted, painful, whisper quiet sounds hurt, my family's voices hurt, even my voice or chewing food hurt.
And at the same time I had to continue working in pro sound! (I do sound for film/TV).
I finally was forced in to doing what I'd put off: getting treatment. I did a form of TRT therapy specifically modelled for hyperacusis. This involved wearing small hearing aid type devices that send soft specifically tailored noise all day in to the ears, to get the brain used to sound again, and to "re-wire" so it doesn't see it as threatening.
Usually it takes about 18 months for full recovery. Took me longer and while recovery wasn't full - as in being totally rid of hyperacusis - my ears are more robust than they've been in a long time. Now my wife is always telling me to turn the sound down when I listen to music! A good thing!
Have you had your hyperacusis treated? Does it ever get better?
As for equipment recommendations I can't really help. I tend to go strictly on what sound I like and plenty of different speakers have been great for me - everything from electrostatics, to omnis, to even dreaded "bright" speakers like Thiel!
One magic bullet, I find, has been my tube amplification. It seems to simultaneously fill out the sound while still alowing for a vivid presentation.
In fact, I actually have my CJ tube pre-amp run through my other Benchmark LA4 pre-amp, so i can switch between solid state preamp or tubes in the path. It comes in handy. A few nights ago I was listening to a record that had a muted trumpet, which anyone with sensitive ears knows can be a killer in recordings. They can be so sharp and bright. This was was really thin and bright and it happened to be bothering my ears right at a sensitive frequency. I just switched over to my tube preamp, which thickened and relaxed the sound, and then it was more comfortable to listen to.