Thanks @duckworp for the detailed account. Sorry to hear you have the same or a similar issue, but happily you have found a good option for music listening. Your problems sound very familiar, albeit perhaps a little stronger. It does seem that very high end gear can produce fantastic sound without being aggressive and hopefully, taking care of the issues solid state produces. Thanks for the feedback on Naim, it does have a reputation for dynamics and liveliness, so perhaps not the best option. Perhaps a used Luxman could be in my budget.
The EQ is an good idea to investigate, especially as they can be had for cheap. It would be interesting to see if certain frequencies are the issue.
Thanks again for all the fantastic suggestions, I will look into Odyssey, Krell, etc. that are options closer to my budget.
If I did go that class A route, does anyone have experience with First Watt amplifiers in this context? I know the different models have different flavors and I'm not sure which would be most suitable (if any). Used or a DIY kit could make that option more affordable. Any relatively cheap solid state preamp recommendations for a class A power amp?