Headphones vs speakers….

For me, headphones versus speakers in a room are two completely different experiences. Rather like comparing a roadster to a luxury sedan -- each has their attractive qualities, but which you like better at any given moment depends on what mood you're in.

That said, it sounds like you've put a lot of effort into getting your headphone system the way you like it (though interestingly you didn't say what headphones you bought.)  Perhaps you need to put some more effort into your loudspeaker system, though I have to say Totems have never done much for me, though I know they have a following.

I think the headphone versus speaker debate comes down to what your sound priorities are. 

Headphones tend to have a flatter listening response because their sound isn't impacted by the room. Some listening rooms can impact the response of a speaker-based system, especially with bass, by many decibels. This causes annoying augmentation and/or complete suck-out of certain frequencies and can ruin/hamper the listening experience.

By comparison, a great speaker-based system just sounds more open with appropriate imaging. I detoured a few years with headphones and could never get the same illusion of performers occupying the listening space. 

Using well-designed and implemented room treatments helps a speaker-based system sound closer to a headphone-based system in terms of response, although a world-class headphone system will always maintain the advantage.

You'll be hard-pressed to get the spaciousness of a quality speaker-based system with headphones though. That open window, 3D sound when everything is working is awesome.  

It certainly takes more resources, planning, and patience to get a speaker-based system to sing correctly. Its much much easier with headphones.     

Agree with all

Proper corner horns are considered to be the most “headphone like” sound by most listeners due to the least amount of interaction (reflections) in the room.

I sometimes use mine in my heavily treated basement and they do sound the most like headphones to me (compared to my other loudspeakers)

Thanks guys

Headphones I tried were DT770s (80 ohm) - liked them a lot for the price and bass response, DT990s, nice but I missed the bass response. Tried others but I was on a quest for “good” bass, soundstage etc etc. Had to sacrifice soundstage somewhat as I preferred the bass response from closed back cans. Jumped up from $150 to close to $2000 for Fostex TH 900. The Fostex are a bit recessed compared to the cheaper DT770s but that’s ok. Just impossible to find one pair that has everything I’m looking for but I’m at a point of just trying to get myself to be content and stop chasing something that might not exist - I’m 95% of the way there and should be happy with that.

Right now the room is echoing like crazy and I’m putting my hopes on those curtains for the three walls and probably will add more soft furnishings. Swapped the Totems out for a pair of Paradigm S2V2 i had in storage out of curiosity but with the bigger cones the bass in the room is worse. Still, I know I have a lot of work to do to get this room right but I’m loving the headphones. Still not 100% with the Fostex as they are very slightly bright for my liking but I may be able to sort that out with EQ. I have to say the DT 770s are great for the price and my personal preference. Trying all kinds of headphone amps also - yes, you can go down a rabbit hole even with headphones!

Thanks again