It’s been said that the magnitude of what happened during the first second after the Big Bang is greater than what happened in the billions of years afterwards. I wasn’t there, so I have to take someone else’s word for it.
I’ll like to suggest that the first mintute of your encounter with a someone representing the dealer is the most important. Were they "nice" to you? And, oh yeah, were you "nice" to them? It’s an "interview" by both parties. Sizing each other up, based on some initial reactions to make a (sometimes rapid) determination of whether to more forward, or hit the "exit" button. Next dealer!! Or, next customer!! And, what’s the next step in this "courtship" to reach a mutual objective?
The dealer is IN the business. They should know what to ask, and when to ask it. So, all things being equal, it’s the dealer’s responsibility to make it go right. But, this isn’t always the case. Afterall, these probably weren’t naturally born "audio guys". They were astronauts-in-training as a child, who preferred English Lit in college, only to discover the lucrecisity (is that a real word?) of stated profession caused an unplanned detour into "something else". They loved music and technology, adopted an audio vocabulary, and showed up to work at the Hifi shop on Day One with a pretty good collection of their own demo materials. So, here they are, standing in front of a potential customer trying to salvage some degree of respect and dignity. And, yes, that first minute matters to them, too.
Being degraded to the status of "broker" is frustrating and, frankly, humiliating to the salesperson. Bickering over model #s and price is far less appealing than an accessment based on needs and wants. But, the dealer also has the opportunity to "humanize" the relationship -- if the potential customer will give them permission to do so. If they miss this opportunity, then shame on them. But, the potential customer can fill in the blanks as well. "Why did you get into the audio business?" Or, "What was the most memorable concert you ever attended?" will get you on the right path of a relationship built on respect and trust. On the other hand, you are a guest in their "home" and should be treated as such. How you handle the first minute will make the difference between a being treated as an invited guest, or a time vampire.
As a consumer, I often find myself having to "train" others on how to sell to "me". If we can leave our egos and the front door and focus on OUR objectives, salesmen who are rough around the edges or full of themselves can be "fluffed out" a bit and converted to an asset if you're willing to try. You might just help push their careers in a positive direction while getting what YOU want in the process. A win, win.
So, OP. How about that first minute?