Was I Expecting Too Much

Well judging from the response, this question really struck a nerve. Whatever the exact conversation was between OP and the dealer (FWIW I believe OP), we’ve all been in this type of situation.

I normally make the purchase from the dealer that spent the time to demo a product, which irritates my wife (the household CFO), but how else to assure that the dealers are here for new products, upgrades (many, many with my Linn TT dealer) and service?

Over the years I’ve focused my buying with a few sellers and developed good relationships that have proven beneficial many times over. This often includes at-home trials because of those relationships. Probably 2/3rds of the time those loans lead to purchases and those that don’t are for specific reasons that a dealer has never found objectionable.

As far as the dealer community, I appreciate the comments they’ve made. It somehow seems that a dealer ought to be able to spend under an hour with a potential buyer under most circumstances. I think a potential purchaser who is asked to keep the demo to say 30-60 minutes until they’re ready to make a purchase wouldn’t have reason to object. In this case OP was asking for an appointment so dealer could have suggested a time that would be less busy perhaps. The dealer doesn't need to sit with the potential client the entire time either, so really much less dealer-time involved.

Sorry, I did misread the post.... I wouldn't buy anything from this dealer as he was obviously showing you he wasn't anyone you would want to deal with.

Let's assume the OP has accurately portrayed the interaction without bias or self-serving emphasis.  It so, then the dealer should be respected for his honesty.  He said call me back when you're ready to purchase. He didn't say ready to buy a Brinkmann from him, but when you're ready to actually buy a turntable, then come see him.  Now when that time comes the two of you can meet and be serious.  At that point he should give you his best offer.  Maybe you'll make a deal, maybe you won't.  It takes two to tango and being overly sensitive about the initial interaction can mislead.   Remember, he did call you back within a few minutes.

@clearthinker @raysmtb1

this is why I don’t listen to gear at hifi stores. I look at it. I know they can tell when I walk in that I will not buy anything.

I’d like to get the most value for my money and usually I buy used, and I don’t feel I should waste the dealer’s time with pushing buttons for me.

"Fortunately" in high end stores there is nothing I could afford anyway so it wouldn’t help my decision to listen to a $2.5K component.

I think the answer to the dealers’ problem is buying and selling used gear, or just "trade-in". But so far, they weren’t interested in anything I offered, including what they sold me a few years ago/

If a boss overhears an employee speaking to a customer in a curt manner, or any manner that could be considered even remotely rude (even under a liberal definition of ‘rude’ - but these are the rules of engagement in customer service), that employee could be fired that day. At best, receive a talking-to.  
This owner dismissed all precepts of customer service.  
Maybe the owner was having a bad day and isn’t like that normally. Still, not your problem.  
The owner effectively said, “I can’t be trusted and I don’t want your business.”  
In the words of Aldo Raine, “obliiiiige him.”