Was I Expecting Too Much

The Covina dealer is generally unpleasant. He sounds burnt out and just wants to make sales. He also has the nasty habit of asking what you own and insulting the stuff he doesn’t sell. 

This is a standard sales technique - for auto sales.  For Stereo equipment not so much.  
 

Car sales is a different business model.  How should a bm shop deal with tire kickers who will waste their time, then go buy online?  I have known people who think they are clever doing that - there are people like that who post regularly on Agon.  
 

Churches and 2-parent families are in decline, politicians’, athletes and media stars’  behavior is execrable.  What is the source of morality, ethics or integrity now?  It’s no surprise that there are greedy merchants like that.  All you can do is avoid them. 
 

Naming names would be the honest and helpful thing to do in a thread like this. Vagueness can potentially tar and feather the reputation of shops which avoid such miscreant behavior.  If it’s an accurate report based on personal experience, it’s not legally actionable.  Let a salesman who behaved this way, and shop which condones it,  reap what he sowed.

@mdalton 

All good points.  And as @markimiller suggests, IF this is the dealer in question, he might be an old burnt out purveyor of audio hardware that's ready to trade in his surplus gear for a golf cart.

My intent is not to win (or, lose) an argument here but, rather, inject a viewpoint based on decades of experience for consideration.  I mentioned in an earlier post that it is unfortunate that the dealer missed an opportunity for a face-to-face with this (potential) customer.  It could have paid off for both of them?

My approach to potential customers was one where neither party was over-leveraged, or under-leveraged.  This seemed to work out well for me, and my customers.  Your example of a job interview does fit into the dynamic.  The dealer's career objectives (both short term and long term) does depend on the outcome(s).  The dealer's career is enhanced (or, diminished) by what is about to happen so, yes, he does have a vested interest in who is is "interviewing".  In this regard, whether we're aware of it our not, everyone we do business with (where there is a lot at stake) is going thru a mental checklist to see if they really want to do business with us.  Our portfolio included providing technology, home theater, distributed audio, etc. and using your contractor example, we were given the advice that if the customer/client is badmouthing the other trades on the job, it's probably best to bow out of the project.  They aren't going to like you, either.  And we may be unintentionally communicating the wrong messages to the dealer, contractor, etc. and disqualify ourselves before we even get started.  Probably the best outcome, for all concerned.

In my career, I had to look under every rock to discover business opportunities and was never in a position to pick and choose only elite customers/clients.  But I'll say, looking back, after 70+ hour average work weeks, I should have had a better filter on whom I did business with.  I missed a lot of life and living.  But, I did offer an extraordinary level of service.  Wonder if that will be included in my o'bit?

If you have a brick & mortar location your first job is to generate foot traffic and people willing to come in and sniff at whatever it is you are selling. That achieved, your next job is to have the sales staff to be able to actually be sales staff and make the sale, close the deal, get it done, satisfy a customer so that they have no reason to go elsewhere. It's freakin high-end retail 101. Hell, it's general retail 101. I worked retail at higher end shops (not audio) for decades and customer service was always dealing with tire kickers, but being damn smart enough not to piss anyone off. Must be tough these days with much of the world buying online, and coming into a store just to fondle the gear and then go search online for the lowest price. It doesn't matter if a "demo" or listening session is not really a benefit for most purchases, you as a dealer do it as it is the right thing to do. Make the customer feel like the purchase is an elevating experience among fellow enthusiasts. If you can't close the sale enough of the time you deserve to go away. That said, must be tough to be selling audio gear these days when there is more snake oil and fallacies than ever before to deal with, and people have drank all the Kool Aid that contradicts electrical principles!!!!! :-) 

Years ago I worked with a country bumpkin sort of guy who was single and lived very modestly. He walked into a bank and asked for the President (back when there actually were bank Presidents). They asked why he needed to see him and he explained he wanted to open an account. They blew him off and he left. He went to another bank and asked the same question. The bank President came out and greeted him and invited him into his office. The guy asked the President the maximum amount of an insured account. The President told him and he opened an an account with the maximum deposit. You see, he was raised by parents who were also frugal and left him money. He also traded in classic automobiles as a hobby. This is the kind of guy that everything he did turned to gold. The moral of the story is, you never know who has money and you can't judge people by their appearance. I would argue that if you're looking for a high end product, you already know the price point or you wouldn't be asking about it. The other things is, the shop owner doesn't know who you know! 😉