https://www.stereophile.com/content/bampw-matrix-800-loudspeaker-specifications
B&W Matrix 800 loudspeaker Specifications
Sidebar 1: Specifications
Description: Three-way, reflex-loaded loudspeaker with line-level bass equalizer. Drive-units: two 12" polymer-cone bass, two 5" Kevlar-cone midrange, one 1.25" ferrofluid-cooled, metal-dome tweeter. Frequency response: 23Hz–20kHz, ±2dB free-field. Impedance: 4 ohms nominal (3 ohms minimum). Sensitivity: 93dB for 2.83V at 1m. Recommended power: 150W–800W.
.......................................................
Use the 4 OHM tap.
Your friend is correct in the sense that it will not hurt the amp or speakers if you try/uuse the 8 or 16 ohm taps.
However, the frequency response of the crossover will be slightly altered from the factory’s intended response.
.............................................................
https://guitar.com/features/opinion-analysis/what-is-impedance-guitar-amplifier/
https://forum.audiogon.com/discussions/trying-different-output-impedance-taps-with-tube-amps
https://forum.audiogon.com/discussions/any-experience-using-8-ohm-taps-for-16-ohm-speakers