Here is my situation and how we worked it out:
100 year old house. 10’ ceilings. Living room is fairly formal. Crown molding. Formal looking fireplace. Oriental rug. Eclectic furniture. Mostly traditional but some contemporary. Nothing particularly fine. Eclectic art. Audubon to abstract.
My wife of 35 years has excellent taste in such matters and like this living room the way it is.
I already have a music room of sorts.
Then I inherited a pair of Aerial Acoustics 6T towers. Piano black. To me they are ’pretty’ speakers. Very elegant. I do not need them in my music room but I wanted to keep and use them.
She was not thrilled especially when she envisioned a large multi component system like my primary one.
When I told her I would make the components invisible she consented to the speakers.
So, I got a Sonos Amp. Sure, beneath the dignity of the speakers. BUT, we already had Sonos throughout the rest of the house so it made sense....AND it sounds surprisingly good even compared to a Bryston amp. It is under a side table so essentially invisible. Plus, she can use them since she already uses Sonos.
As for the aesthetic question I think the speakers look pretty good in there. Grills off so people won’t think they’re room air filters etc. I wondered if wood grained speakers would be less intrusive but in reality you can’t hide 4’ tall towers anyway. In that regard I think the piano black looks like a design choice and not camouflage.
So consider various compromises. Consider speakers that are ’elegant’ in appearance. Consider a Sonos Amp or something comparable for invisibility. Or something like this if invisibility is not an option:
Finally, tell your wife how important it is to you and (sincerely) tell her that you are confident that with her good taste and ability she can make something work.