ISO - grit, texture, decay, life from snares and bass drums

I am also a drummer. I’ve been playing for the last 40 years or so. I’m getting fantastic drum sounds with both my Magnepan .7’s and ATC SCM19 v2’s. Running both with a Belles Aria Sig pre and monos. Just amazing mid range with both speakers. 

Wharfedale Evo 4.4 review: sophisticated, compact floorstanders | What Hi-Fi? (whathifi.com)

Rega Aethos review: exceptional performance from a premium stereo amplifier | What Hi-Fi? (whathifi.com)

your listed front runners appear to be stand mount speakers, yet you have pricing approaching $3k.  

have you considered https://tektondesign.com/product/full-range-speakers/full-towers/double-impact/ ? 

* amazing midrange

* nearly 99dB sensitivity

* better off axis since their original version

* no stands needed

I have the Impact monitors (the "top half" of this speaker) and it's the best imaging and soundstage I've ever heard in my home.  (they sit on a pair of HSU ULS 15" subs) and with the towers linked above, you get 30hz-30khz without a sub.

Sounds like your issue is not the amplification, but more directly related to the room effect you're noticing in your sound. It sounds, to me, like you're experiencing what I've come to know as bass bloat. 

When your bass response becomes grounded it will kick you in the teeth. I think that's what you're looking for, lol.        : )

I addressed that issue in my system with a form of EQ known as Room Perfect that is built into Lyngdorf integrated amps. The results kind of speak for themselves, I guess is the way to say it. I read a ton of reviews and it seemed lie a lot of folks seem to think Lyngdorf's version is somewhat superior. 

You would also most likely enjoy using a setting they call Global, as opposed to Focus. The global setting allows a very pleasing off-axis listening experience, to be used if you're listening from anywhere in the room besides the sweet spot location.

Lyngdorf's entire approach to what most folks call "tone control" is also quite unique. They use set frequency response curves to allow you to reduce middle frequencies and upper frequencies proportionately so that it doesn't jack with the presentation of the music as far as the soundstaging or imaging is concerned.

There are two different setting that allow you to, essentially add more bass ... but you're not actually doing it by adding bass, you achieve the effect by reducing the other middle and higher frequencies. There is a Bass 1 and Bass 2 setting, depending on how much you want to bring the bass out of the recording. Way different from anything I've ever heard of. And doesn't skew any of the other frequencies like traditional Tone Control.

What the critics say, is that their approach doesn't change the way your speaker sounds, it actually makes  your speaker sound more like the speaker designer intended it to sound. Sounds like you like your speaker, you just need to get it to perform better.

Anyone else on this thread have experience with Lyngdorf products?

btw I disagree with @ozzy62 that friends don't let friends EQ. That's kind of outdated. It used to be true, but this is the 21st century and things have improved dramatically in terms of how to achieve good sound with EQ.I think Friends advise friends on how to get the best version of EQ they can, because nowadays it's actually possible. You just need to be smart how you do it.

What I am getting from this is Be. Beryllium. Not good for you, but "sharp". You'll be happy with the decay, trust me....