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God, I hate to ask this…

Recent conversations with the oncologist have been replete with phrases like ‘stage 4’,metastasis’ and unappealing statistics applied to survival rates. While my real and financial affairs are well settled I am most perplexed with how to approach this large pile of audio stuff e.g. 3 secondary systems in addition to the primary one, several thousand lp’s, a similar number of CD’s/SACD’s, a closet full of cable etc. I am utterly confident that I am not alone in this. While I am comfortable that my wife will love and care for my dog I am less confident that the Avantgardes will elicit such emotional investment. Although my immediate inclination is to cling desperately to these treasured objects it seems patently unfeeling to expect someone else to deal with all of this. My wife will have enough to do. I could just divest myself of much of it and depend on the collection of headphones that I began to amass during the first illness. I really don’t want to do this. I would also like to pre-bequeath much of it to friends assuming that they wanted it but all of them have been adamant in their refusal to discuss this with me and probably will remain so until the 11th hour. As childlike as it seems, I am emotionally invested in these fruits of a lifelong passion and want them to end up where they will be respected and loved . This seems to be a juncture that we will all come to. I would be grateful to hear the contemplations that all you have had in this, admittedly, sobering matter. 
To all of you, good cheer and good health.

 

williamjohnston
onhwy61's avatar
onhwy61
5,366 posts
 

You need to figure out for yourself what's important and what's less so.  Do you have the time and energy to sort out where your equipment and music library will go?  From what you describe that's the real issue.

The unused equipment and maybe the secondary systems could be parted out now.  The same for most of your music collection.  If you want to give some things to people you know, then you should talk to them now and make the arrangements.  For your high end/high dollar equipment you should discuss with your family the best ways to dispose of them.  It should be no different then discussing real estate, vehicles or investment portfolios with them.  You might prearrange working with a dealer to help on this.

Not to sound macabre, but picking out your wake/sitting/funeral music can be a fun project.  Music has the power to bring everybody together even under the most difficult circumstances.

Best Wishes

jafant's avatar
jafant
20,680 posts
 

williamjohnston

My condolences to you.  Sound advice as above. Another +vote for TMR. More locally, Saturday Audio Exchange and Decibel Audio in Chicago proper.  There is also Craigslist in your area.  God Speed. Enjoy the Music.

jcipale's avatar
jcipale
77 posts
 

As a sporadic visitor, I stumbled upon this and it immediately brought tears to my eyes. @williamjohnston you are broaching a difficult subject with class and grace. I commend you for your stoic and rationale approach.

God speed and fair winds.

alaric62
84 posts
 

@williamjohnston,

                           Some unsolicited advice, if I may. Do not give up, do not quit, do not assume the medical profession knows all there is to know about how the body fights diseases. I was written off by some very good doctors, more than once. That was several decades ago. 

  No, I'm not some lunatic who is giving you a list of essential oils. I do believe the act of surrender in the mind can bring about a similar response from the body. I wish you the best, and I truly hope you prevail.

nagel
62 posts
 

Don't give up too soon. Health research is moving faster than ever and AI is already helping with breakthroughs. Here's an idea for what you're ready to let go, give or sell cheap to businesses that would like to improve their ambience. Maybe a cat parlor, college, or even find a young entrepreneur who'd like to start a listening room/other business. Pay it forward and grow new audiophiles. Best wishes for you and your family.

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