Record-playing Rituals?

run a brush along the record for a few rotations before playing.

open a bottle of wine.

run a brush along the record fora few rotations after playing.

repeat.

Dear Fightingwords,
Great ritual! I forgot to write in to my protocol the part about pouring the glass of wine or pint of beer. At this point it is implicit in my record playing ritual.

Funny how the sound improves with each glass!

I open a can of solid white Bumble Bee packed in water and sprinkle a little bit on my tonearm. Why? I want the best tone-a quality. {;>)

are you implying that you can tuna tonearm?

absolutely. I do if for the halibut. But before I make a bass out of myself, tunality between brands affects the scales of performance. Some people may flounder when first trying this, but they will shout 'holy mackeral' when hearing the sharking improvement. Well, I better clam up cause this cod go on.