About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

I'm looking forward to meeting you in person Lugnut, I have the last of that old special Cognac hidden under the counter so my Tuesday night music guests don't drink it before you get here.

Nrchy, how about you coming that same weekend and we will make a party of it. I might even give you an LP or two as a bribe.

Hi Pat. Amazing thread here. All these wonderful people understand what's important in life, and that it could easily be any of us in your predicament.

As a physician (radiologist), unfortunately i see really ugly things all the time. I have to call the doctor (whose often known the patient for 30+ years) to tell them their patient has "whatever." It takes the wind out of most of them - you'll never hear this side of it, but your doctor dreads calls from me, dreads having bad news to share with you, dreads that someone in their care has been afflicted with something bad. We're trained to stay objective and be able to distance ourselves from the matter at hand (which is actually good, otherwise we'd have difficulty coping) but it always hurts. For this reasons, I make it a point to call other doctors when the news is really good. For example I read a CT on a paient who had widely metastatic ovarian cancer, whose last 3 scans looked worse and worse, but on my scan, the tumors had all shrunk to barey measurable size. I called the oncologist to give her some really good news.

We in the medical profession are just people - we get sick, we fail, we regret - and we listen to music, we hope, we try to smile. Sometimes no matter what we do, mistakes are made, people/patients misunderstand us, call us arrogant, heartless, greedy and so on.

It' an honor and an awesome responsibility caring for people - and I hope you're happy with the people taking care of you: that they're competent, compassionate and considerate, that they temper reality with hope, that they offer extra supprt to you and your family.

Anyway, no matter how much i may think we (docs) suffer with our patients, it's nothing compared to what you - the patient - and their families suffer. Hang in there, keep the faith, and enjoy the music!

Art

Art,

That's an interesting point you brought up. My oncologist is one caring individual. When I told him how good I was feeling and I knew the Taxol was kicking some serious ass the guys face lit up and it made me happy. I've known he has had a heavy heart about everything leading up to this. One failure after another making me feel worse when I knew he would anything to make me better. During our last visit we discussed what is happening as a result of this thread. He was touched. Then I listened about his trip this week to Moab, Utah to ride bikes in some of the most breathtaking scenery known to man. We joked about some aspects of his trip in that it is the heart of the polygamist Mormon splinter group yet they temper their strict behavior because of the tourist income. (No judgment, just observation on how we humans behave) We talked about wishing that we knew each other under different circumstances as we like each other a lot. Perhaps I stepped over the line here. I dunno. The thing is I wanted him to know that no matter what, even in failure, he is respected by me for his efforts, and I know he is very good at what he does. It is what it is. He appeared to really appreciate what I said. He and I have a plan unlike any I've heard of so I might bop til I drop rather than choosing unconsciousness over pain. If it works my wife or daughter will post this for the benefit of all. If she doesn't then it's no issue. It's his desire that he see me until I cannot come in any longer and anticipates I will come in very late in the process. We both want to make this the best it can be. Sounds weird when I read what I just said but it is the truth and I'm not going to lie about anything even if it I seem a fool. I have faith that dying is not only easy but most likely rapturous. This I've come to believe after being with a very close friend and my father and holding their hands when they took their last breath. I dread the path of getting there but won't be given more than I can handle. The doc knows this is how I feel and it seems to please him. Bottom line, there will be an especially pleasant little corner of Heaven awaiting him.

Nate, if you come down to Albert's I'll gift a record of your choice. Just send me a list.

Hey, I've talked to Albert and he's a lot like me. This will be a lot of fun. I know I'm walking into an environment where I'll be glad to be myself.

Albert, Cognac, good food, friends and extreme, ground breaking audio playback. About the only thing missing is the dancing girls. Maybe by then Steve will have a copy of that Marsel Marceau album he's been looking for. Thanks for the invite and looking forward to toasting you with that sensuous old Cognac.

Hi Pat,

Just wanted to let you know I got a copy of the book today. I'm going to read it this week, then listen to the album again. Should be interesting!

I'll be thinking of you and Barb. Keep the faith.

Joe

Hi all,
I have been watching this thread for a while and I am really embarrased that I haven't posted until now. I can only hope that I would handle myself any where close to how Pat is. And for the rest of you, I can only feel proud to be in the club. Your support is amazing and I get tears in my eyes everyday that I read more.
Pat I would love to send you a "care package", but I don't have any classical. Lots of blues, rock and big band. If any of those interest you, I would be more than happy to send a nice mix.
Jeff