About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone


Many of us have come to know Patrick Malone (Lugnut) as a friendly, helpful, knowledgeable and kind individual. He is a frequent and enthusiastic contributor to our analog discussion forum. He has initiated only 17 threads, but responded to 559 threads. I would guess that many, if not most, of us can recall a time when Pat replied with helpful advice to a question we posted or helped us track down a rare recording. I have come to love Pat as a friend, and to respect him as a man, and I suspect many of you share those feelings.

Today I write to share difficult news with you. Pat has been diagnosed with an aggressive stomach cancer. It has yet to be determined whether surgery will even be worth it. If surgery is performed, most or all of the stomach will be removed, and Pat would face a difficult and long post-op period in the hospital. The medical course is still uncertain, but will be determined soon. Whatever is decided, it will not be easy or pleasant.

Something may be planned in the future to assist the family. For now, Pat could use some of the friendship he so often and willingly showed us. You can email Pat at: lugnut50@msn.com. You can also mail cards, letters ... or whatever. You may email me for Pat's mailing address. My email is: pfrumkin1@comcast.net.

I hope to spend a few days with Pat in Idaho or Nebraska (from which he hails) soon. Between this news, my legal work, getting ready for family arriving for the holidays, Audio Intelligent, and trying to make plans to visit Pat, my head is spinning. If you email me and I don't respond, please understand that I am not ignoring you, but rather simply do not have time to reply.

Pat may or may not have time to respond to posts here, to emails, or to cards mailed to him. But he has asked me to convey to each and every one of you that he has cherished your friendship, your comradery, and sharing our common hobby on this great website.

As we prepare for our holiday season celebrations, and look forward to -- as we should -- enjoying this time of year, I ask that you keep Pat and his family in mind ... and softly offer up, in quiet moments in the still of night and early morning, prayers for Pat and his family. God bless.

Warmest regards to all,
Paul Frumkin
paul_frumkin
This is my first post to this thread, but have been reading and following since it began. Even though I have never met any of you, your posts have truly touched me. I have read and cried several times. Sometimes out of sadness for Pats situation and bravery, and other times for the compassion and love that is shown by others.

Pat, as you have been going thru your treatments, with all of it's ups and downs, you have been inspiration to me. You are walking dignity.

One of my best friends (Joe) is currently walking the same road you are traveling. His treatments ended about 3 weeks ago and he is currently confined to a hospital bed in his home. His mind is still very sharp and his attitude is very good. I have been fortunate to be able to help him carry out some last minute details that he realizes he wished he had taken care of when he was able. Small things, like sending flowers to his wife for him (yes, a few others are blessed with angels too)and a few small repairs to the house. It is by freely giving to others that we receive our greatest gifts.

Joe has always been a believer in acceptance of things he cannot change. So he isn't fighting the inevitable and gains some peace of mind from this. I go over and sit and visit with him daily until he runs me off. But we have had some of our most memorable visits these past few weeks and months. It's a shame it sometimes takes stuff like this for us to get real in our friendships. I have no qualms about telling my friends and family that I love them. A few friends have kind of looked at me funny at first, but they grow to learn what I mean by it and they now return it when told. I think you know what I mean when I say that.

So, even though we personally don't know each other, I can honestly tell you that I love ya and I want to say thank you for sharing some lifes journey with me and others. I have learned alot.

Steve
Smokester,

Very good question. I have a list of near range needs I know she'll have but for the most part I can't imagine this group being able to help. If the roles were reversed I could (and would) request my friends come over occasionally to cook and clean so that I could tend to my wife. In this case she doesn't have the depth of good friends to call on like I do. Besides, she probably wouldn't ask. It's just not her. I'm planning to contact her family and request that they come in shifts to lighten her load. None of them live close but they can do this without any hardship being placed upon them. I'm pretty sure they will rise to the occassion. My sister will probably come but I can't expect that of her. Her husband's company is closing the location where he works on Jan. 1.

For this group I ask you to send her a card individually after I'm gone. I'd hope that you would stand by her if she needed advice about a system problem or the like. She's very good at operation of things but doesn't have a clue otherwise. She could keep these cards and refer to them when she needs the help. Something as simple as packing the turntable in the original boxes is a perfect example should she decide to move. The fact the system has Aktiv crossovers within the power amps is another example if she needed to hook things back up after painting the room. Small things, but overwhelming to her I'm sure.

I don't expect anyone to do this but if you do, please be committed to following through. I know she would be quite sensitive if a year or two down the road it was inconvenient. (Now I feel like I'm a jerk for saying this-you guys are so great) I've had a couple of incidents this year where I was truly counting on some help that was repeatedly and freely offered only to be left high and dry. I'd just like to save her any such emotional turmoil.

I'd be lost running this place if she were gone. Man, in this case I'd be quite happy to find out that I wasn't needed. Can you drop by and sharpen my lawnmower blade a couple times per year and change the oil? LOL. The address is in this thread but feel free to drop me an email and I'll forward it to you. Thanks for asking and if I think of something else I'll post it.

Steve, thanks for your thoughts. I have so many grown men tell me they love me! I know it's true. A great gift that costs nothing to give. My greetings to Joe. If he's an audiophile maybe we'll meet up soon and listen to real music. I expect that to be the case.

Newmanoc, I'm sure I'll share the details. For now, with the help of oxycontin, I don't have any real pain except for the really short, mysterious ones. I have a lot of discomfort that's nagging me almost constantly. I can handle this just fine but I realize I clinch my jaws a lot. It kind of pisses me off more than anything else.

Hey, as far as favors....you guys can stop by anytime and flip these darn records for me so I can just plant my lazy butt in the sweet spot. Har har.