Nrchy,to me this is simply amazing!!I had the exact same problem,when first ordering my Triplaner/Cosmos,some time ago.I "freaked out"(my dealer was supposed to check out compatability here,and did not).What I ultimately had to do,was to have Triplaner(Herb Papier,at the time) make me a spacer,that went between the arm's headshell and cartridge.This allowed for vta adjustments,but added unwanted mass.I had always felt that the Triplaner was not such a hot "fit" for the Cosmos,but as you say,Sota does use it at trade shows,but it may be fitted on a Millenia.
In any case I don't want to alarm you.You have paid good money for your stuff,and ANY good dealer/manufacturer should take responsibility for any potential problems.Especially if you had mentioned to them the combo of arm/table you preferred.The audiophile community is a small one,and you should exercise your right to have this problem solved quickly,and to your satisfaction.
Don't do as I did,and wait 2-3 years before you realized that you could not extract optimum performance, from a front end that should be nearly state of the art.Kirk is a truly great guy,and will bend over backwards to try to help you.I think,as in my situation your dealer(for the arm) is responsible for making sure of no problems,in matching arm/table here.LEAN on him a bit.If he's worth his weight then he should solve your problem,and fast.It is NOT up to you to do the legwork,after spending audio "big bucks".
I wish you the best,and you can communicate your concerns any time.Also,it would not hurt if you were to indicate,to any dealer/type seller,of your analog rig,that you have more than a few interested parties(in your dilemma),on the web.That should send a message!!