whats the best styus cleaner gel

Use the ME dry. I follow that with the Zerodust just to pick up any ME dust. If your records are basically clean, you shouldn't need to use the ME except maybe every ten sides, if that. You can always check the stylus with a pocket scope if you want to be fanatic about it.
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I used to think the same as Nsgarch, namely that aggressive cleaning with something like the ME was only necessary every ten sides or so and that a dry brushing was adequate otherwise.

Jonathon Carr of Lyra encouraged me to clean more frequently, for reasons I posted above. I took his word for it and do seem to get better results, FWIW.

Magic E is simply the best stylus cleaner. You must be very careful but the results are unmatchable. I keep a Zerodust as a companion accessory.

I'm a convert thanks to Doug and Neil (Nsgarch).

Vaseline?

Great contribution Einstein.