Have you had buyers/sellers back out of a deal?

I closed a deal to purchase a subwoofer here on Audiogon Oct. 9th and sent my payment information immediately. On Oct. 28th I canceled the deal because three promised shipment dates had been missed and the sub still hadn't been sent.

I told the seller that I no longer felt good about the deal and wanted to cancel. I informed him that if the sub was sent, I would have to leave negative feedback, but if I were to receive a full refund I would call it even and not leave any feedback.

It's a very unfortunate situation because the seller had excellent feedback and I was excited to get this sub. The packaged sub is very heavy and the seller said he needed help in getting it from the 3rd floor where it resided, down to the ground floor where it could be shipped from.

He was apologetic and agreed to refund my money. It's been six days and still no refund, I hope everything turns out, and I don't get stiffed. I do have one source of recourse though. My payment was made via Mastercard directly to the manufacturer of the sub who acted as a middle man for the transaction. I've already received a statement reflecting the charge. I'm sure if anything goes wrong I can work something out.

Question for everyone: If my refund is lost in transit to me who is responsible? I told the seller as long as I RECEIVED a refund I would call everything square.

There is a flip side to this coin, I wanted to purchase an item here not to long ago(listed in the classified's, NOT an auction) and sent an email to the seller that I wanted to purchase the item at asking price please get in touch with me and we can sort out the details. Well this particular member had mixed feedback(though far more positive), so I wanted to be VERY sure I was comfortable with sending them 3k plus shipping. Well he didn't get back to me for 6 days! I didn't walk I ran from that deal, what if I had a problem- what would happen?

In any case I agree that must be a true pain, having someone agree to something and then they back out of it. I have had some weird things happen selling gear(not sure if any of you remember the blood type story.....but any way) but no one has ever backed out of a deal. I have had a few people disappear on me though- which that is kinda weird as well. The last two big components I sold-amp and speakers, went to seperate parties and they never told me when/if they recieved the package or if they liked it, which is weird in this hobby to hear no feedback from a sale. I confirmed with the shipper that they did recieve the package and I sent more then a few emails asking if everything was ok, and no reply. I left the appropriate feedback for these individules(positive) and never got any in return(not the end of the world) just an oddity to say the least.

Well, I've been on both sides of this. I've waited for a MO that never came.(and such)-- I have also changed MY mind,as well. When I change my mind I at least tell the person.AND an honest "why".--The MO that never came--?--never heard from that person again. I think we are just dissapointed the deal didn't go through-- Whether buying or selling. No sense getting to emotionally upset over this.-----I also think it's just part of life on the WWW. Let me tell you here and now; I'm human and not a "perfict" one at that.

I was told money order was mailed it never arrived tried contacted the buyer numerous times with no reply.
Shipped EAD transport to a party UPS tracking shows delivery
signature no reply to communication attempts.