Best Audio Related Story (or joke).

An audiophile gets lonely since the wife left him for a conductor, he gets himself a pet centerpede. Every day they chat and listen to music, one day he tells the centerpede let's go out for some drinks, centerpede agrees, so he's waiting and waiting, finally he asks the centerpede "when are we leaving??", centerpede says "can't you see I am putting my shoes on!!

Not hi-fi related.

A man boarded an aircraft at London 's Heathrow Airport for New York , and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him

"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States ..."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded,” I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.."

"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"

"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."

MAN KILLED ON GOLF COURSE

A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time.
When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. She goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.

She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically,

'I guess all those f..king lessons I took over the winter didn't help.'

One of the men immediately responds,

'Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf lessons instead!'

He never even had a chance to duck...

Not hi-fi.................

WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12 !!!

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.
"Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks,


"Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers,
"TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March......."

How many Teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 12. Have a problem with that?

How many Kennedys does it take to screw in a lightbulb>? 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to drink to make the room spin.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's not funny.

How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's OK. I will sit in the dark.