Trelja, Leafs, and other recovering audiophiles:
Have you checked to see if your region has a local AA (Audiophiles Anonymous) chapter? Our group meets every week at the local Radio Shack where we listen to MP3, boom boxes, but mostly just talk about downgrading.
Many of us were normal folks, you know -- nice people good job, loving family, close friends and decent power cords. With me, it started with interconnects. One, two, and then sometimes three a day! After a month or so, I just couldnt start my day without de-oxidizing that Golden Cross one more time. It was real bad.
But I am happy to say Im getting better now. I now only reach for that hidden box of Black Diamond Racing Cones when I just cant get to sleep without a tweak.
At our chapter of AA, we follow a proven 10-step program.
1. The First Step is Admitting You DO have a Problem: I remember my first meeting -- real scary. I had to stand up before the entire group of recovering audiophiles and admit I had three preamps! And that sometimes I couldnt face the day until I tried mixing tubes and solid state just one more time. Clearly, I needed help. So I embarked on the 9 other steps to recovery listed below:
2. Always Attend Your Local AA Meetings: Last meeting, there was this one guy who came wearing his Stax Lamdas and just couldnt take them off. Another guy lashed out at other group members with a PowerSnake he had brought along when the group leader suggested that he try unfiltered AC for a week. Poor guy, we had to restrain him with #12 gauge speaker wire and forcefully remove the Bybee filters from his Maggies.
3. Gradual Downgrading A Sure Way of Getting Off the Wagon: Start slowly. Try cutting your Nearfield Pipedreams in half, or removing the Martin from your MLs so they just say Logan. Thats a start. But dont be too rash -- I once put a Redbook CD in my Sony SACD player and was so hung over with digital grain that I missed the next two meetings.
4. Help Other AAs Recover: Tell your fiends to resist those Revel Salons, say no to that pair of Merlins up for auction, and give the new 10 ft. Nordost Valhallas to their daughter to skip rope with. (Remember, to remove the spades, as kids prefer bananas)
5. Abstain and Stay Clean: Go to eBay and bid on anything Bose. After youve set up a surround sound system connected to a Circuit City source, invite your friends over for a Bose party Start by hooking the 901s to your 1000-Watt Classe Omega. Slowly, slowly turn up the volume, and then remove your earplugs. It helps if you are standing next to glass or any other reflective surface so you can really catch those 2nd order harmonics. Did I mention itis beneficial to remove all carpeting and put mirrors on the ceiling?
6. Limit Exposure to Those who Would Corrupt Us: When visiting the CES in Las Vegas, stay in the hotel hosting MP3, visit the worst of show, car audio, and Bose (maybe the same as worst of show). See if you have the willpower to stay out of any good sounding rooms. Be strong: you can fight temptation!
Last show I spent an entire day inside the Kenwood Van -- the one with the 22 woofers. After that I couldnt hear anything, so I was immune to the temptations of Levinson, Red Rose, Lamm and some of that strong sounding German stuff, Burnmester, I think it was called.
7. Avoid Relapses: If you must visit a friend with good equipment, bring your Jensen headphones and a hidden MP3 player. If you wear the in-ear design, no one will ever suspect you are wearing a wire and not really listening to the Accuphase that your host is hopelessly hooked on.
8. Counsel Your Fellow AA Members: Remind other recovering audiophiles that 2 channel is dead, SACD and 8-track sound about the same, with a slight edge in hiss to 8-track, and that its OK if your amp clips now and then.
9. Gradually recover: Crank up that subwoofer, move your system to an all glass room, go back those Chinese tubes. Hell, I even downsample my 24/96 CD to 16 bit by hooking up my DAC backwards. It really works the graininess is back, soundstage folds up like a tent in a high wind, and my wife says Im less spend less time fiddling with wires in the back.
10. Stop Temptation Before it Starts. Begin by visiting only the HT section of audiogon. Then abandon audiogon altogether. Stop all subscriptions to Absolute Sound, Stereophile, and especially those highly addictive British mags. Shop by reading the classified of local newspapers, set your browser to search Realistic, or buy your speakers from the famous white van man when he visits your local supermarket parking lot.
Congratulations! Youve reached the Final Stage: Youre off the wagon; now stay off!
Get a job a Circuit City. If theres no Circuit City, then a Best Buy will do. (Ask to work in the car stereo or portable audio section.) Trust the good advice of your fellow workers and learn from their knowledge. But remember, when you become Manager, you must immediately fire any staff member who tempts you by uttering the words SACD, separates or tubes. And be sure to train your co-workers to tell customers the bigger the woofer the better, and you cant hear anything above 10KHz, so why bother, just hook everything up to your PC.
All in good fun --- however, the last sentence contains, believe it or not, actual quotes from Future Shop employees (Canadas equivalent of Circuit City).
Have a great weekend --Lorne